Monday, June 21, 2010

Reasons I am a bad Southerner ya'll. By Stephanie, Age 34

1) I have never eaten a fried pickle, nor do I have any desire to do so.

2) No, I don't want no sweet tea.

3) I rarely pitch either a conniption or hissy fit. And I NEVER throw either.

4) I'm not fixing to do very many things either, quite frankly.

5) I'm not exactly sure where yonder is.

6) I sometimes mistakenly hand over the granulated white kind when people ask for some sugar. That's not what people mean.

7) I don't bring my entire family to the emergency room.

8) I don't care for grits.

9) I mistakenly assume that when people have their turn signal on, they are actually going to turn. This rarely happens.

10) I don't know how many of any given item constitute a "mess".

17 comments:

Jill said...

Fried pickles are interesting, but you need at least as many people as there are pickles, because they are not really good enough to eat more than one. Just my opinion. Then again, there was no dipping sauce. Perhaps if there had been dipping sauce, if it had been slices instead of spears.. maybe. But overall, not worth squashing your diet over.

CPA Mom said...

But fried pickles and grits are so good. You have no idea. LOVE YOU LIKE A SISTER anyway!

Karen Cupcake said...

Hahahahahah!! :O)
I was born in RI... but I got to Charleston as fast as I could! hehehehe!
Im fixing to drink me some sweet tea,but I am NOT having it with a fried pickle! (shudder!) I often go out Yonder, and when I get back I eat me some grits... esp. great with melted velveeta and pepper! ha! I DISLIKE southern sugar... hello people its my own personal space thank you!!!!!!! and I am always telling my momma she is a mess ... because she leaves her freaking blinker on forever and one whole day. And now, Im fixing to go take a shower b/c its hotter than a witches you know what out here.......
Love, Karen (though if you are from the south, you say that like this " Kaywren". which makes me shudder)

elle said...

It appears you were either spirited away from the north right after birth, or dropped on your head once or twice! I can no longer uphold you as a respectful southern woman! :)

Amy W said...

I don't like pickles, but fried ones are actually okay, especially drenched in ranch...

Chelle (hanwayink) said...

why is granulated white sugar NOT the right kind of sugar to pass someone? I am obviously not from the south either...

Katie said...

Bwahahahahaha!!

I do have to tell you, I was bullied into eating a fried pickle last summer -- I still dream about it's salty, cruncy, fried goodness!! Alas, I will have to continue to dream because the restaurant closed, and I'm FAR from the south. I mean, we're so backward up here, we call it pop!

Midlife Mama said...

Mmmmmmmm I love me some sweet tea! The rest? I am sooo with you. :)

FUZZARELLY said...

1) I have never eaten a fried pickle, nor do I have any desire to do so.

It sounds nasty. Or Scottish.

2) No, I don't want no sweet tea.

I hate sweet tea.

3) I rarely pitch either a conniption or hissy fit. And I NEVER throw either.

I do sometimes get pissed.

4) I'm not fixing to do very many things either, quite frankly.

As in - fixin' to get ready to start thinking about beginning to......

5) I'm not exactly sure where yonder is.

It's over there.

6) I sometimes mistakenly hand over the granulated white kind when people ask for some sugar. That's not what people mean.

Oh, Honey!

7) I don't bring my entire family to the emergency room.

For that? I thank you.

8) I don't care for grits.

With enough butter and sugar, they can be delicious.

9) I mistakenly assume that when people have their turn signal on, they are actually going to turn. This rarely happens.

This is not a southern thing. A True Southern Thing is to hold up traffic while you chat to the people in the car headed in the other direction.

10) I don't know how many of any given item constitute a "mess".

More than, less that a heap. Actually, a "mess" usually means enough for a meal.

Your Welcome!

Anonymous said...

How could you not even want to try a fried pickle? :) And even if you don't know it, I think I've seen you throw a little conniption or hissy fit. :)

Dawn said...

Pickles are disgusting and grits confuse me, but I love me some sweet tea!

Tiffany said...

Love You!!! I am NOT southern...but married to one and I can hear every single thing you said in the south carolinian twang :) If I am being a comedian I will say fixin to....but DO NOT understand the term CUT THE LIGHT ON/OFF I HATE THAT TERM!

and to Chelle (hanwayink)
Sugar means kiss.....gimme some sugar.....is meaning to give me a kiss. Our kids when they were babies were told to "gimme some sugah" by every relative in the room........shudder!

CottonSocks said...

First, I balked at fried pickles for years.

Surprisingly good - provided they are slices not spears and there is dipping sauce (poor earlier commenter, that really does sound pretty awful).

Granted my part of the South is . . . different than the rest, but there was still some fixin' to's and yonders.

Agree about grits; 'gimme some sugah' is a your part of the south thing; people here are just insane drivers anyway. . .

oh, and 'y'all' - it's an argument I had this weekend with my Jason. ;P

Marissa said...

I had my first fried pickle at Quaker Steak and Lube, in Grove City Pennsylvania. I've yet to find them in Georgia.

I don't like Southern sweet tea either, it's like drinking sugar syrup half the time, and it makes my teeth hurt. It's a wonder any of them have teeth with the amount of sugar they swish around their mouth daily with that tea.

Boriqua said...

I'm with you on the fried pickles, sweet tea, and grits. Pass on all three.

Priscilla said...

I say ya'all all the time. And tell people we're having grits for dinner.

I can talk in the sweetest southern drawl. I've never been to the south, other than So Cal and I've never eaten grits.

Disturbing, I know.

I think I was a Georgia Peach in my previous life. Or a cotton plantation owner.

Or maybe I'm just weird.

Lizarita! said...

1. You have no idea what you're missing.
2. Me, either. I will, however have the left side of the menu and a DIET coke.
3. Oooooh I am famous for throwing and pitching both when I don't get my way.
4. We say "fissinah". Example: "I'm fissinah cook brehfiss."
5. It's over there-----> (yonder)
6. MUAH!
7. This isn't a southern thing. This is an idiot thing.
8. With butter and salt and pepper? Don't mind if I do!
9. HA! Silly girl!
10. A whole bunch.

And you forgot to mention anything about saying "Bless his/her heart" when you really want to say "what a hot mess that boy/girl is in!"