Overhead in a gas station bathroom near Statesville, North Carolina:
Little girl: Why don't you just shut up before I smack your face?
HER MOTHER: Oh yeah? Well you better shut up before I beat your bitch ass!
Me: *AUDIBLE GASP*
Girl Child: *EVEN LOUDER AUDIBLE GASP*
Mother and daughter exit the stall they are sharing. Little girl is approximately 3 years old.
I'm not kidding.
Mother, looking at me: I just don't know why kids don't act right!
Me: I have a pretty good idea why yours doesn't.