Tuesday, September 7, 2010

All the Earth

She didn't make ensemble.

I wasn't surprised. I hate to say that, hate to be that mom, but I'm really not surprised. Girl Child had dozens of amazing qualities and while she truly does sing with every bit of her soul, her voice is just not that strong yet. She's getting better all the time, but the small group of kids that were selected last year were good. Really good. I knew the competition would be stiff, especially considering how many kids were trying out. I knew chances were slim.

Still. It was hard to see her, blinking back tears.

"Do you want me to beat someone's bitch ass?" I queried. Because, clearly, I'm either the best mother ever of all time or I need to be locked up.


"Whoever didn't pick you. You want me to beat their bitch ass?"

She sniffed. "It was the two chorus teachers mom."

"Okay," I said. "I'll beat both of their bitch asses."

We laughed. The Boy Child, of course, looked alarmed until the Girl said, quietly, "She's just kidding brother."

I was kidding. Of course. My kid isn't going to make every team or every group or get to be the star of everything. I told Girl Child about how I tried out for the basketball team in 7th grade. I didn't make it. I cried and cried. When it was time to try out for softball I was so afraid, because I remembered how hurtful it was to not make the basketball team. But I did it anyway, and guess what? I made the softball team. (I did not give her my opinion of Middle and High school athletics, because it's not very positive. But I digress)

I told her proud I was, just how very proud, that she's willing to try.

I don't know about that kid. She's a mystery to me so often. I wish I could understand her in the ways I think she probably needs me to. I wish I could make her understand how awesome she is, and how much she impresses me, not just because she walks through the door of that school every single day with her head held high, but because she says things like, "Big feet are a blessing" and at the end of a long, hard day wants nothing more than to sit in the front seat because she's tall enough now.

I love that kid so much.

I never want her to stop believing in her song.


Bexterrific said...

I love her too. And you, because YOU ARE THE BEST MOM EVER OF ALL TIME!!!! xoxo

Jill said...

2 words - church choir. make a joyful noise, and all that. they are always recruiting and happy to take whatever they can get!

SJINCO said...

So she got knocked down onto her knees for now but she will get back up and brush herself off and try again. Lessons learned for sure and without a doubt she'll come out on the other end so much stronger.

Boriqua said...

She'll be a great fit for something soon enough. And you're an awesome mom for being so supportive, even if you feel like you don't understand her as well as you'd like to.

frannie said...

she's so awesome because of you! :)

mythoughtsonthat said...

I have been telling my boy since he could understand: You need me to kick his/her/their ass? Because that's how hard it is to watch my boy deal with disappointment and rejection. It's just hard. Your kids make me laugh all the time (well, not when they're being disappointed)- you have done a great job with them. Peace.

val said...

It's okay because she never has to wonder.

Yeah she tried, and that's the main thing.

Plus--regardless, it's okay.

I had a mom like you and Steph, it's a source of strength.

love, V

Anonymous said...

ask her to listen to Glee Cast's Don't Stop Believin'.. :) hope it cheers her up!

Danielle said...

I agree w/ Frannie.

Tarasview said...

oh mercy, by the end of this post I was bawling... just remembering how it felt to be girl child's age. Yeesh. What an awful time of life. But YOU are doing GREAT. My mom didn't really "get" me all the time and you know what? It doesn't really matter. As long as she knows you LOVE her, believe in her and are proud of her she will be just fine. And plus she can count on you to beat people up. What more could she ask for? ;)

David. said...

I can honestly say that having a mom there to kick butt for me has always been a source of confidence in my life. Love you guys.

Anonymous said...

She's awesome.

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