Thursday, September 16, 2010

Thursday dinner.

"I always thought I'd marry an Italian guy."

The Boy and the Girl glanced at each other and then they both glanced at Jason.

"I don't know," I told them. "I just always did. I grew up in Upper East Tennessee y'all. The only Italian people I ever heard of were blatant, scary stereotypes. Mafia guys."

They laughed. Cautiously.

"Seriously. I thought I'd marry a really loud, blue-collar guy, have a ton of kids, live in an apartment building, sit on the stoop and shout randomly at people in the street and suddenly become Catholic."

They all stared at me.

"I'm kind of a huge jerk," I explained.

No one disagreed.

"Really, I don't know why I thought that," I sighed. "Probably something on television."

"You do love television," the Boy Child agreed.

We were all quiet for a moment until the Boy Child said,

"Well, Dad does look like he's sort of Italian." Clearly a reach, but a nice effort all the same.

To which Jason replied,

"BADABOOM, BADABING! FUGGEDABOUDIT!"


"Well," said The Girl Child. "There you go."


Indeed.

9 comments:

Carol said...

Hey he's trying. I thought I'd live on a farm with a huge housefull of kids and ride horses. I don't even like horses.

elizabeth said...

I just finished reading your book! Loved it - same freewheeling humor that made me a fan of your blog. You have a gift for dialogue (as evidenced in this post!)- the pacing and rhythm of it. I know it's been a bumpy road with the writing at times so wanted to let you know I'm officially a fan!

Tamar said...

I can totally hook you up with my one-eighth Italian son if you're willing to wait twenty years.

(What's weird is that you had this fantasy BEFORE Joe Morelli was written...)

Erin said...

I thought I'd get married to a rich guy and have tons of kids and live like a happy happy princess.

...we all have dreams, but sometimes reality is better. :)

Anonymous said...

I always thought I'd be married at 21! Thank God that didn't happen (cuz clearly I'd be divorced now).

Oh - and I'd somehow be very famous... not quite sure how that was gonna happen, seeing as I never acted or danced or sang or skated or played an instrument (well) or... but yet, I'd be famous!

Danielle said...

You've seen Jersey Shore I assume? So why???

val said...

Oh funny. Oh my gosh. love, Val

elle said...

Aaawww! He lurves you!

M said...

Dear cod I fucking lvoe you nutjob. You crack my shit up. FOR REAL? You in that scenerio makes me laugh. A lot. You can probably hear me all the way from here Josh just yelled to ask wtf was so funny while he's trying to sleep. Just Steph. Just Steph. <3