Which leads me to the first thing I'm profoundly thankful for this year:
I couldn't change his mind.
Because you know? If I had changed his mind, I'm pretty sure my life wouldn't be what it is right now. In fact, I'm positive of it.
So thank God for that. Thank God I'm not living in the same situation I was in. Thank God I got my college degree. Thank God I wrote my book (and I take the good and bad with that). Thank God I'm not a widow. Because I would be.
I'm also grateful for these:
This is one of my favorite pictures of them (there are many) because they honestly didn't realize they were being photographed. It's just...them. The Boy Child is telling a big story and the Girl Child is listening and laughing. It's just who they are and it's really beautiful to me.
My children restore my soul. I see in them every single good thing I've ever done and every single failing that I struggle with. They are the best, best things in my life. I guess every mother feels the way I do. I hope so anyway.
I am thankful for fear.
I know how that sounds, I really do. But honestly? Fear has propelled me into some of the most amazing life situations over the past year. For example, when I looked at the big picture financially and realized I wasn't where I needed to be, fear caused me to take action in a really big way. Fear made me say, "I'm not doing this". Fear actually made me strong. Made me brave. I stood up for myself in ways I'm not always comfortable doing. I said, "I can do this" and "Let me try" when I really didn't know if I could do things and I didn't know if I had any business trying.
And it worked! It totally worked! Crazycakes!
Fear made me look at my life in a different way. Fear helped me realize what I could live with and what I couldn't live without. I am glad for it.
I am thankful for my faith.
And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
Can you take a second and read that last little bit?
And nothing shall be impossible unto you.
I am thankful for a myriad of other things. Big and small.
Just this morning, I've been thankful for:
-Having my Christmas cards done
-That my car is paid off
-That my Christmas shopping is 97% done
-The addictive joy known as Farmville
-My sweet puppy Ginger
-A three day workweek
-Having my cousin to vent to (via email, unfortunately, but still)
-My beautiful, sweet co-workers
-The current state of my bank account
-That some people in the world still use the phrase, "Upside your head"
I could go on forever. Which is, I suppose, the beauty of all of this.
I am thankful. I am glad. My heart is full of Thanksgiving.