Thursday, July 21, 2011

It's the little things.

You guys, it's totally been a banner week in my life. First of all, Butch from the Teen Mom show got out of jail. And...AND! We got to see it on t.v.

If you are unfamiliar with Butch, well, here you go:

(Seriously, this dude has the most epic mullet I've ever seen. I wish I had a better picture of it so you could observe it in all its trashtacular glory.)

If you are further unfamiliar with Butch, pretty much all you need to know is that he's a drug addict, has been in and out of jail for the vast majority of his whole life, has somehow managed to convince at least two women to sleep with him at some point, and was devastated when his son Tyler and Tyler's girlfriend Caitlyn gave their baby up for adoption. I mean, so devastated that I think he put the crackpipe down for like two and a half whole minutes to for some reason proclaim to Tyler something like, "All kids need is love!" whilst totally rejecting the idea that kids might possibly need things like parents who aren't unemployed teens, food, shelter and grandparents who aren't strung-out methheads who assault one another on the regular. But whateves.

(Also, to make the whole situation even more Hillbilly Hoedownish, Butch is married to Caitlyn's mother. I think he was in jail for assaulting her. Or for being on drugs. Or maybe both. I can't recall)

Anyway he's out of jail. See how happy he is?

We're all happy too Butch. Believe that. Especially after you proclaimed you needed to get your freak on since you'd been in jail so long.

Oh Butch. Never change.

Also? My spammers have been particularly witty and hilarious lately. Observe:

Of man who got real and continued pleasure out of instruction.

Really. That's the whole comment.

Also, this:

Look at the monkey on a mule.

Charming, right? I know.

This one was probably my favorite:

I was just looking for this information for some time. Right after 6 hours of continuous Googleing, at last I got it in your web site. I wonder what's the lack of Google strategy that don't rank this type of informative websites in leading of the list. Typically the leading websites are full of garbage

I am dying to know what information you can really gain by reading my blog. That I'm typically a huge dick? That I write really angry letters I can never send? That Jason snores a lot? That my kids rock? That my ass could be politely referred to as "jumbo"? Not that all of those things aren't super good to know, but seriously? I don't think it counts as something you'd ever, ever want to Google.* There's nothing to see here people, don't even bother.

Finally, after twenty-eight days of sadness and agony, I finally have my beloved Santa Fe back in my arms. You think I'm kidding, but I literally hugged the car. It made me that happy.

Before I picked up the car from the auto body shop I had to return the rental car/piece of crap. They gave me a ride to the auto body shop.

When I got to the auto body shop, they offered to give me a ride over to the rental car place, so I could return my rental car.

That's the thing around here. When I had a flat tire once I was waiting in my vehicle for the roadside assistance people and no less than five cars stopped to offer to help me (on a street that wasn't very busy, mind you). People can be huge douches, true, but for the most part? People are nice. The cashier at Kroger is always friendly, even when I use coupons. Every Sunday school teacher has known me her whole life and prays for me whether I need it or not. Men hold doors for you and don't start eating until you do.

It's nice.

I hear that Philadelphia is the City of Brotherly Love and I just think, "The people who call it that have never been to Powell, Tennessee". They give you rides here, people. That's huge.

*Yes, I'm aware that spammers post the same things on everyone's websites. Let me have my fun.


tiffany said...

ahhhhhh! i havent seen the teen mom episode didnt pick it up like it should have....its set to tape it the next time it comes on.......I cant stop watching the train wreck that is gary and amber...

Misty said...

i don't watch that show, but from your explanation I wonder if I am missing something deeper. It just sounds seriously tragic to me...

Jessa said...

I've only seen one or two episodes of the show and can't watch. It bugs me. I've known teen moms and I swear they picked some of the worst couples to portray what it is really like. As for cars, someone can take my truck. I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Later I'll tell you how I really feel. Hahaha!

Pattie said...

Congrats on getting your baby (your Santa Fe) back. :) And I agree that people around here are nice more often than not. Although one time I was trying to open a door with my arms full of stuff, and the guy behind me stepped back and out of my way instead of stepping forward to help me. After I managed to get the door open, I pulled it shut. I wasn't about to leave it open for his lazy butt.

Zephyr said...

They couldn't make fiction this good. Thank goodness for reality.

Mary Beth said...

Totally agree with you about the southern hospitality, and I was just thinking about it yesterday. I pulled into McDonald's for a Diet Coke and when I got to the window the sweet lady said "Good morning", handed me my Diet Coke, and then said "Thank you, hon!". Totally made me smile. You just don't get that up north!

LzyMom said...

Girl, you kill me. *hugs*

Bethany said...

They've obviously never been to Philadelphia either.

Actually Philly is one of my favorite places (lots of history) and the people are ok; that was just the first thing that came into my mind.

Kathy said...

I thought his mullet was part of his punishment ;-)

Love Teen and the kids secretly stalk MTSU and M'boro hoping to get a glimpse of Maci.


Sarah said...

First of all I love Teen Mom and love your explanation on Butch. Second, I love Southern Hospitality. I'm from PA and in no way shape or form is Philly-"the city of brotherly love" It's all don't talk to me or I'll kill you. LOL.

:) Have a great weekend.