This evening at our house, I entered the bathroom to find my son, leaning over the bathroom sink, brushing his teeth vigorously. Randomly, his butt was stuck up in the air and his face was about two inches from the faucet.
Me: Boy Child. What are you doing?
Boy Child: Brushing my teeth.
Me: Okay. You have to stick your butt out like that to brush your teeth?
Boy Child: It helps me to see my teeth better. I can't see them as well unless I get my face REALLY close to the mirror.
Me: You couldn't just lean closer to the mirror?
Boy Child: It's best this way. I'm closer to the faucet. That means I use less water.
Me: You are the weirdest kid ever.
Boy Child: Yeah baby. I know it.
Me: *blink, blink*
Boy Child: You love it. You know it.
Me, after a few minutes: Bless your heart, you're going to kill your mother.
Boy Child: That was worse than when Girl Child made that "That's what she said" joke the other day, right?
Me: You know it.