Dear Wad in the big white truck that ran through the Stop Sign and almost hit me and my dog because he was texting instead of paying attention to important things like driving,
You are a dick.
PS: I'm not generally a litigous person, but I promise you there is no text message worth the amount of financial damage would you would suffer if you harmed my dog. Believe that.
Dear everyone in my neighborhood,
Okay, so I'm moron. I actually had no idea that you are supposed to walk facing traffic instead of walking with the traffic. So I've been walking with the traffic and that's probably why I've received many annoyed glares instead of friendly smiles lately.
In my defense the vast majority of my walking over the past eight or nine years has taken place at parks and greenways and places that people don't drive cars except during hunting season. I know ignorance is no excuse, but it's all I have.
So to every one of all of y'all, I'm sorry. Especially to that nice old lady who I got REALLY, SUPER annoyed with when she was walking on "my" side of the street with her obnoxious dog. I'm really sorry for my annoyance. Also, sorry to my husband for bitching at length about said woman. Also, sorry to my husband for not believing you when you told me that I was really supposed to be on the other side of the street. Also, sorry to my parents for dragging you into this conversation in an effort to prove my husband wrong. Really, I suck as a human being. I'm working on it.
(I won't apologize for thinking that dog was annoying though. He totally was.)
Love and hugs,
Dear Person who is not part of my team at work, but who I am sometimes forced to interact with,
There are not enough middle fingers on this planet to appropriately express how I feel about you.
Smooches, you horrible hag!
Dear my kind, loving, sweet, beautiful daughter,
Seriously. You are breaking my heart.
I know, I know. You have to grow up and be fourteen and all. I know you've had a hard time with this transition from one school to another and one state to another. I know that you are your own person, and I'm really proud of the person you are.
But honey. When you write things like this:
You see us in the halls at school.
You see us strolling through the neighborhood, we see you.
You think you're so cool, the way you fall with the crowd.
We are called by the names you give us.
Geeks, maniacs, freaks.
You laugh at us, tease us, pick us out.
You never really know what we're all about.
We don't wish to be like you.
We are our own people.
We are proud of standing in the mirror in the morning.
We are the future.
You break your mother's heart. Both in good ways, and bad ways.
I'm really, really sorry you have to be fourteen. It blows. I'm really sorry it has to be in a new place, with new people. That blows too.
I really, really love you.
PS: Heh. I said, "your mom".
PS: Someday, I hope, people will appreciate you for who you are. I already do. Never, ever forget that.