Saturday, February 21, 2015

You are lucky I'm not a crazy person

Because, um, "sir"? You do not leave your two year old child  in a booth at a fast-food restaurant, by themself and RIGHT NEXT TO THE FREAKING DOOR, on a busy Saturday.

Also? You don't walk up to the counter to place an order when the line is eleven people deep and not ONE FREAKING TIME LOOK BACK AT YOUR PRECIOUS CHILD TO VERIFY SHE WAS STILL SITTING THERE. And standing at the counter waiting on your food instead of, you know, walking fifteen feet to check on your child? Stellar parenting.

I mean, seriously. Are you kidding me? I looked at Jason and said, "Hey! You want a 2 year old? Apparently she's up for grabs!"

I'm not a kidnapper or a pedophile and thank God no one else in the restaurant today was either, but anyone could have taken your child. They could have easily taken her, ran out the door and been gone forever and you would have never even turned around to see it. Your beautiful, friendly, quiet little child could have been GONE. For what? So you could get some chicken? So you wouldn't have to deal with a child in the line (and seriously, she was tremendously well behaved even though you totally left her alone in a booth...which leads me to believe you probably do this frequently)?  Because you couldn't be bothered? Because you didn't want to have to, gasp!, balance a tray AND find a seat??! AT THE SAME TIME?!!? Life must be so hard for you!

It's called being a parent, you douche. I traveled seven hours via car, by myself, with infant twins and no, I don't expect pats on the back for that. It's just what you freaking do when you are a parent. You deal with it. Your arms get tired. You have to hold a kid in a carseat while you pee. Whatever. You just deal with it because your child's safety is pretty much the most important thing in life.

I bet you anything if that child's mother knew you did that she would pull every single miniscule hair off of your scrote with a pair of sharp tweezers and every single other mother on this planet would stand there and cheer while she did it. I might even volunteer to hold you down while she did it. 

I really try not to judge others parenting because God knows I'm a completely crap mom sometimes but you? You are ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. And I am judging you. Hard.

Your child is not a placeholder. 



b said...

I've let my kids get a table for me while I get food since the ages of 2 or 3 and I don't consider myself a terrible parent. I do feel sad about the experiences kids don't have based on parents fears of abduction.

Anonymous said...

What "experiences" is a child supposed to have sitting at a table??

Anonymous said...

Of course you don't consider yourself a terrible parent, b.

Anonymous said...

Great post.

b, you are a dumbass.