Sunday, December 6, 2009

Occurrence.

They're alright, you know? They are old enough to spend a few hours on their own. When I was their age? I was babysitting other kids. They have each other and the dog. The television and their video games. They know not to answer the door. Not to let anyone in under any circumstance. They know how to call 9-11 and for what limited reasons it is appropriate to do so. They know how to get in touch with us, know where we are and when we will be home.

It never occurred to me until I felt the impact of the truck slamming into the back of us, until I hear the glass crashing around us, and until I saw the look of absolute horror on my husband's face as the other car, the one who set off the horrible chain of events, went skidding into oncoming traffic, nearly taking out an ambulance, what exactly would happen to them if something happened to us.

Because it's easy to worry about them. It's easy to worry if they are ready and if it's right. To feel the relief the first time they are home alone for 20 minutes and the house is still standing. To think of how we've tested the waters for a while now...slowly working our way up to what's comfortable for all of us.

I will not soon forget, though, the lightheaded feeling I had when I opened my car door and stepped out into wreckage, broken glass and car parts littering the road. I will not forget the women in the truck behind us, crying as she was loaded into the ambulance. I will not forget how my husband was shaking so hard I did not know if he could hold the phone in his hand. The screams of the passengers in the vehicle that caused all the damage. And the sudden, sick-making realization that if one minor thing, just one little thing had been different? We could have never made it home.

It is amazing to me that sitting at a stoplight, on our way to a holiday party, our lives could have been ended thanks to someone else's irresponsible choices. I'm thankful that we were not hurt, unlike the people in the three other vehicles. We got the least of it. We're okay. Our car is hurt, but we're okay.

But what would happen to them? I choked out a painful laugh when I said to Jason, "They wouldn't open the door for a police officer Jason. They wouldn't open the door for GOD." And they wouldn't. I've told them to never, ever. And they wouldn't.

But what would happen to them, if something happened to us? As much as I hate that thought, as much as that thought takes the air out of my lungs, I'm really going to have to consider it.

We were lucky. We are lucky.

But what if there is a next time? Will we be lucky again?

12 comments:

Meredith said...

So thankful you're okay.

I recently gave a list of people to a girlfriend for her to notify if something ever happened to me, because i realized that no one would know to call them.

Every time i think i've finally worried about everything there is to worry about? i realize i forgot something.

Toritopia said...

I am so glad to hear that you are okay. My husband and I think about the same things in regards to our children. What would happen to them if something happened to us? It is the hardest thing to consider sometimes.

Jocelyn said...

Oh my goodness! Glad you're ok. I bet that was very, very scary.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Oh how scary. I'm so glad you're okay.

SJ said...

It takes an experience like this to really open your eyes and see the clearer picture, to wonder even what would have if...

I'm so glad you and Jason are okay. I'm so glad that you made it home to your kiddos. I'm so glad that you were lucky cause you are right, your lives; their lives; could have been changed forever.

God was watching over you, absolutely. I'm so glad you two are okay.

nicole from much more than a mom said...

Oh my freaking hell. I'm so glad you're alright. I have no idea what I would do. I want to stay locked in my house with my babies forever, thank you very much.

Not tellin' you my name ... said...

This hits SO close to home ...

I am glad that you and your family are okay.

Nen said...

So glad you guys are OK... will keep the other families in my prayers!

CPA Mom said...

Well, first of all, I'm glad you are physically ok. Mentally will take a bit I know.

I know that choosing guardians for our kids was a very hard decision but I'm so glad we have them in our will. So now I can worry a "little less."

((Hugs)) to you this morning.

Chrissy said...

Glad you guys are okay. Sounds like a TERRIBLE ordeal. You're right, how scary and unfair it is that our lives could be impacted by someone else's poor choices. That's just not right.

My son is now 19 and I'm a little ashamed to say that we never made formal plans for him, should something happen to us. I think we always "assumed" my parents or my sister would step in, and I'm sure they would've, but to actually have a conversation about it? Never did it.

Good luck to you as you consider this for your kids. It's tough.

ChloƩ said...

So glad to know you're ok! Don't have kids so no idea how we'll deal with all that when we do, but that's definitely something to consider, thanks for the reminder! ((((hugs))))

Jamie said...

I am so happy you are okay. Seriously. Yes, I know how difficult it is to plan for the unthinkable. I never, ever could come up with a plan that I felt good about, so I didn't. I was lucky, they are grown now. However, I wouldn't do it my way. I always read but rarely comment, but I wanted to tell you that I am happy that you are alright. Because what would happen to your readers if something happened to you? Hugs. :)