It might be more fitting to start with something new and positive, but I'm not that kind of girl so I'm going to start with a list of things that are NOT my goals for 2010:
1) Finishing the next book. I've almost killed myself and cried about a billion tears trying to finish. I really think if I relax and give myself a break about it, hopefully it will come more naturally. But I'm not putting myself on any more deadlines or mandatory daily word counts. Because those? Just add a lot of the words "really" and "very" to my writing. And I use those enough as it is. Really.
2) Any specific weight loss number. I give myself a headache and have been known in the past to resort to dangerous things to make certain numbers happen. It's a stupid number, for the love of God, and not worth killing yourself for.
3) Any specific exercise goal. Don't get me wrong, I have already signed up for some walking related activities for 2010. But I'm not going to lose my mind about it. I spent the week before the Avon Walk so sick I could barely stand it because of nerves. Now? I know what I can do. I don't need to assign a weekly number to it.
4) Trying to be someone I'm not. Do I need to think before I speak? Um. YES. Do I need to not always say what I think? YES. Do I need to not be such an unmitigated ass sometimes? YES. Do I need to pretend like certain things are okay just to go along with the crowd? No. And I've been doing that for a really long time. I don't belong sometimes and that's okay. Sometimes? It's a really good thing that I don't belong.
So. We're cool, right? Okay.
The things I actually want to accomplish:
1) Set budget and stick to it. I have pretty specific financial goals, but I won't list them all here because I don't want to be all boring like that. I've already got the 2010 budget planned. The sticking to it part will be more difficult. Even more difficult because I'm married. I'm not saying that to be ugly, but it's true. In related news, if my husband turns the heat up to 71 again while I'm not looking? I'm fairly certain I'm going to break off all his fingers and cram them up some body part that he would not like. At all.
2) Without a specific goal in mind, continue walking, exercising and eating healthfully. Just because it's what I ought to do. If weight-loss occurs, that would be awesome. In either case, I'll be getting healthier and that's the real goal. I'm never going to be a size 4. It doesn't matter.
3) Write because I like it. Not because I'm under any obligation and not to make you (generic you) happy. Just because I like it.
4) Say "no" more. I spent a great deal of this past year engaged in activity that I did not enjoy, was not fulfilling emotionally, financially or spiritually, and generally only served to make me angry and bitter. I'm not doing that anymore. I will, without fear and regret, say no. Sometimes? I will say, "Oh HELL no." But just because I like saying that sometimes.
5) Visiting people I care about more. Specifically, getting my ass to Michigan at some point. In case anyone there wants to see me or something.
6) Reading more books. I can probably count on two hands the number of books I've finished this year. Okay, maybe four hands. The point is, it's way less than I generally read. I love reading. I want to read again.
7) Spending less time dealing with people who suck. Some of this I can't help because I have to remain employed and some of the people I work with suck. Most don't, though, and that makes up for a lot. The rest of it? I suppose I'll deal with.
8) Ignore stupid people. Again, difficult. There are a lot of stupid people in the world. Some of them, for God knows what reason, read my blog and feel the need to comment on everything from how fat I am to what a bad mother I am and everything in between. They suck. Still, I've let them get to me in the past. The recent past. And I say "NO MORE". That's what I say.
9) Be as ridiculous as possible. Dorky Dancing? Yes, please. Sniffing the children in an exaggerated manner and declaring they "stink pretty good"? I'll have some of that. Embarrassing people I know with my off-color commentary? Well, I already do that. But yes. More of it. Peens and douchehats all around!
10) Bake more bread. As my friend Al so wisely said, "Carbs...they're always the answer". They aren't, especially not to my thighs, but I really love baking bread. It's very soothing to me, for some reason. I'm not very good at it, actually, but I'm getting better all the time. I would make it a goal to have the perfect loaf, but since I'm all about not putting pressure on myself about it that would defeat the purpose. But I want to make more bread. Better bread.
That's all, I guess.
And despite my kvetching about it, thank you for reading and listening and following and friending in 2009. I appreciate you (not generic you, actual you) more than you'll ever know.
See you in 2010.