Thursday, February 25, 2010

I think I need a life coach.

Here is an abbreviated list of ways I am currently failing at life:

1) I have totally forgotten how to sleep. Ask me how that's working for me.

2) I was given some really good, productive advice on improving my new book. Every time I open said word document which may or may not eventually become an actual book? I stare at the page blankly. Sometimes I cry. I know what I want to say but I have no idea how to say it and that feels very, very bad.

3) I have to make decisions about three huge, major, life-altering things.

Sometime this week would be good.

It's not going well.

4) Some people that I really love are in some really craptacular situations right now and there is nothing I can do to make it better. I hate being helpless.

5) Similarly? There are some really rank people out there right now living the high life and I want to stab them in the face. Pretty sure Jesus wouldn't be cool with that.

6) I have good friends and I am thankful for them, but I'm totally failing at making more friends. Like this one person that I always thought was a friend? Is now acting all weird. I really hate when people act all weird. Unless it's the good kind of weird. I like that, obviously.

7) I keep forgetting that we have a male guest in my office this week. Thus, I keep using words like "butt floss" conversationally. FAIL.

8) My toenail is growing back in which should be a total YAY but it's not because it really freaking hurts when I try to run.

9) One of my children's teachers died and I have just absolutely no clue what I'm supposed to say to the pair of them about it. Even worse, she died of cancer and that's a huge topic of conversation in our house lately. "Will you die of cancer someday mom? I don't want you to die". Sucks. God. SUCKS.

10) I am actually posting this as though anyone gives a crap. ANOTHER FAIL.

14 comments:

Big Mama said...

Well I give a crap!
I read every post...I just hardly comment because I FAIL. ;)

cfoxes said...

You are not failing. Life is just handing you lemons that are rotten. You will get through this.

MadameQueen said...

As for #2, I'm going to tell you what a ton of writers have told me. Just get it on paper. It doesn't matter if it's right or not, just get it out. And once you have it out you can edit it to make it sound like you want it to sound. Granted, this piece of advice is coming to you from a woman that was completely frozen by a writer's workshop that I went to and one that has only managed to write 695 words of fiction in the last month. However, I have a feeling that if you can just get over that one stumbling block it will all come pouring out.

Oh, and if you haven't read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott yet, you MUST. It is amazing and she so GETS how hard it is to write.

Kathy said...

Totally disagree with #10. I think more of us "gives a crap" than you know. Why?? Because you put into words those things we can't or are afraid to.

We wish we could help you - we can't (see #4)

We have a few close friends but adding more is scardy and hard. (see #6)

#9 will probably affect us all one day - our family right now. It sucks big time!

Making decisions is hard. Huge life-altering decisions staked on top of one another are horrible and scary. I think we all get there at time. (see #3 and #4)

See, you are not so different than the rest of us, you just don't use #11 - keeping it all inside so everyone will think life is perfect.

Dawn~a~Bon said...

I'm sorry hon :(

M said...

Oh fuck honey. I'm sorry. I miss you. I wish you'd fucking email me when this shit is going down. Or call me! Crimany. <3

Keep spilling your guts sweetie. It'll make it all feel better. Except the toe. That's fucking eww painful yucksville. But that, too, will get better with time. <3

CPA Mom said...

Now STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! (#10) You know we all DO GIVE A CRAP.

Please email me. Lean on me and let me help.

Jill said...

of course we care. wish I could make the sadness go away!

Danielle said...

OK, I am fairly certain a life coach can not help you with #5, #7 or #8. #10 is just all sorts of wrong as is #6 cuz we've never met and we could totally hang. Perhaps I should send you the link to my blog? That will help you with #1. There, now the list is much, much smaller... and I'm very sorry about #9.

Bethany said...

Well, I give a crap. Not that it helps with anything but, I do.

Pammy Pig said...

Hi, I'm new to blogging and I am happy to have found your blog. I am a new follower and was sorta sad when you started your new blog, because I totally thought the old one rocked! But then I saw your new blog and love it just the same. I'm glad you posted today. Obviously people give a crap. I do. Hang in there. Feel better.

Pammy Pig said...

I give a crap.

signed,

a new follower

Catch the Kids said...

Oh dear. Hope things turn around for you. You sound like you have a lot on your plate. I really enjoy your writing and look forward to your book when it eventually "births" No comments about labour pains I promise).

marythemom said...

BTDT. You are not a failure!

Hugs and prayers,
Mary in TX