Me, to my boss: Oh my God! What IS this? Why do I have this?
Boss, looking over my shoulder: Because you are a SME (Subject Matter Expert).
Me: OH MY GOD! ACCORDING TO WHOM?!?! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? WHO SAYS I'M A FREAKING SUBJECT MATTER EXPERT?!?!
Boss, walking away shaking her head slightly: *sigh*
Me, calling after her: Thank you for your, um, confidence in me.
Boss: Good God Stephanie!
Repeat daily. Numerous times on various topics.