Friday, July 30, 2010

And then I woke up.

Last night? In my dreams? Orlando Bloom was madly in love with me.

I have no idea how this occurred. Or why. I don't find Orlando Bloom particularly yummy, I think he's quite short, and also? I'm pretty sure I would crush him dead with just ONE of my thighs. So the whole thing was quite perplexing.

But he's famous and rich and whatnot and in the dream I find him quite appealing.

He was very sad though. He kept telling me, "It doesn't matter what you do. I know you'll go back to that bloke!" And then he'd point at Jason.

(Would Orlando Bloom say "bloke"? I have no idea what he sounds like either. My bad)

I would protest, "Oh no Orlando! You are the one for me!" and he'd just shake his head, very sad and very depressed because he knew. HE KNEW. I would never be with him. Because I really loved Jason.

I woke up because Jason was snoring so loud that people the next street over were probably sitting in their houses going, "What the hell? Did you hear that?" and I was not really happy about any part of that, as you can imagine.

"I gave up Orlando Bloom for you!" I hissed at him. "ORLANDO BLOOM! And you woke me up with your stupid snoring!"


"Orlando Bloom!" I said, furious. "He's very rich and very famous and he loved me so bad AND I GAVE HIM UP FOR YOU."

"Okay," he said, bewildered. "Thanks. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."

So. That's pretty much my life. How's everybody else doing?


Madame Queen said...

I dreamed about gigantic bananas last night -- I mean HUGE. My husband said "You know what Freud would say about that." and waggled his eyebrows. I was really? that's the best you can do?

Unknown said...

Did wonders for how well Wifey sleeps through the night now due to my snoring less...

Just saying..

Keetha said...

I once dreamed that Robert Redford and I had an extended and meaningful conversation about movie making, something I know nothing about but he was genuinely interested in my thoughts.

Lauren said...

This cracked me up! I have had dreams about celebrities who I'm very 'meh' about when I go to sleep, but when I wake up, I'm totally head over heels stalker for them. It's so wierd. (Johnny Depp was the latest. I think it's because I read wayyyyy too much celebrity gossip).