Friday, July 30, 2010

And then I woke up.

Last night? In my dreams? Orlando Bloom was madly in love with me.

I have no idea how this occurred. Or why. I don't find Orlando Bloom particularly yummy, I think he's quite short, and also? I'm pretty sure I would crush him dead with just ONE of my thighs. So the whole thing was quite perplexing.

But he's famous and rich and whatnot and in the dream I find him quite appealing.

He was very sad though. He kept telling me, "It doesn't matter what you do. I know you'll go back to that bloke!" And then he'd point at Jason.

(Would Orlando Bloom say "bloke"? I have no idea what he sounds like either. My bad)

I would protest, "Oh no Orlando! You are the one for me!" and he'd just shake his head, very sad and very depressed because he knew. HE KNEW. I would never be with him. Because I really loved Jason.

I woke up because Jason was snoring so loud that people the next street over were probably sitting in their houses going, "What the hell? Did you hear that?" and I was not really happy about any part of that, as you can imagine.

"I gave up Orlando Bloom for you!" I hissed at him. "ORLANDO BLOOM! And you woke me up with your stupid snoring!"


"Orlando Bloom!" I said, furious. "He's very rich and very famous and he loved me so bad AND I GAVE HIM UP FOR YOU."

"Okay," he said, bewildered. "Thanks. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."

So. That's pretty much my life. How's everybody else doing?


Madame Queen said...

I dreamed about gigantic bananas last night -- I mean HUGE. My husband said "You know what Freud would say about that." and waggled his eyebrows. I was really? that's the best you can do?

Mitch Herndon said...

Did wonders for how well Wifey sleeps through the night now due to my snoring less...

Just saying..

Keetha said...

I once dreamed that Robert Redford and I had an extended and meaningful conversation about movie making, something I know nothing about but he was genuinely interested in my thoughts.

Lauren said...

This cracked me up! I have had dreams about celebrities who I'm very 'meh' about when I go to sleep, but when I wake up, I'm totally head over heels stalker for them. It's so wierd. (Johnny Depp was the latest. I think it's because I read wayyyyy too much celebrity gossip).