Last night? In my dreams? Orlando Bloom was madly in love with me.
I have no idea how this occurred. Or why. I don't find Orlando Bloom particularly yummy, I think he's quite short, and also? I'm pretty sure I would crush him dead with just ONE of my thighs. So the whole thing was quite perplexing.
But he's famous and rich and whatnot and in the dream I find him quite appealing.
He was very sad though. He kept telling me, "It doesn't matter what you do. I know you'll go back to that bloke!" And then he'd point at Jason.
(Would Orlando Bloom say "bloke"? I have no idea what he sounds like either. My bad)
I would protest, "Oh no Orlando! You are the one for me!" and he'd just shake his head, very sad and very depressed because he knew. HE KNEW. I would never be with him. Because I really loved Jason.
I woke up because Jason was snoring so loud that people the next street over were probably sitting in their houses going, "What the hell? Did you hear that?" and I was not really happy about any part of that, as you can imagine.
"I gave up Orlando Bloom for you!" I hissed at him. "ORLANDO BLOOM! And you woke me up with your stupid snoring!"
"Orlando Bloom!" I said, furious. "He's very rich and very famous and he loved me so bad AND I GAVE HIM UP FOR YOU."
"Okay," he said, bewildered. "Thanks. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."
So. That's pretty much my life. How's everybody else doing?