This evening at dinner:
Boy Child: So and then? They showed these cats. And mom? Have you ever seen Aunt Susie's cat Raisin? I think he has diabetes.
Me: I don't think he really does. He's just overweight.
BC, snorting: Anyway, these cats? They weighed like 400lbs.
Jason: They weighed what now?
BC: Like 200 pounds.
Jason: Boy Child. Two hundred pounds?
BC: Or like 400 pounds. Whatever.
Jason: Boy Child. How much do you think I weigh?
BC, considering: Um...about 100 pounds?
(Um...no. Have you seen Jason? No.)
Me, almost hysterical with laughter: I'm not even going to ask how much you think I weigh.
BC, immediately: Ninety pounds. Oh yeah!
More hysterical laughter.
Jason, fist-bumping BC: What up, playah?
Me, getting teary-eyed: I've taught you so well.
BC: That's right. When you talk to women and they ask you how old you think they are or how much they weigh? You always subtract 10 years and forty pounds.
Me: I love you even more than I ever thought possible.
Jason: Well. He's going to do much better with the ladies than I ever anticipated.
Me, sniffing: I'm so proud.
Taking bids on him now gals. Taking bids on him now.