Thursday, July 1, 2010

Why can't we be friends?

For the fourth time in as many years, I've had someone completely disappear from my life. Someone I talked to almost daily, emailed hilarious jokes with, and considered a friend.

He got a girlfriend. I was THRILLED for him until I realized something kind of craptacular.

Now we can't be friends anymore.

Frankly? It's starting to really burn my beans.

I don't know how to make it any more clear than I thought I already did, but in case it needs to be said? I really believe men and women can be friends and never look at each other's junk. I can play online video games with you and I really don't care if you're a boy or a girl. You can send me LOLCats all day long and I will laugh a lot and probably tell you how funny you are, but that does not mean I want to be your girlfriend. I can tell you my problems and you can tell me yours. We can commiserate around the water cooler about stupid people. You can even say something slightly off-color to me from time to time (believe me, I'll return the favor). None of that means that I want to see you naked. I really promise. Your girlfriend has nothing to fear. I'm almost thirty-five, I have tons of gray hair, I'm fluffy, I've got two kids, I'm not that cute, and in case you hadn't noticed? I'm married. And believe me when I tell you that dealing with my spouse completely wears my ass out and there is no way in hell I would voluntarily deal with yet another person with that level of intimacy. Okay?

I know, I know. He probably wasn't that great of a friend. Any friend who abandons you when someone new comes along is just a douchenozzle anyway. I get all that.

Still. It sucks.

A lot.

13 comments:

Cheryl F. pixlekansas said...

HOly snikies... Seriously?! All this proves is that this guy isn't too secure in his relationship or his girlfriend isn't trusting him. *sigh* Well... At least now you know... I still think you're awesome so that's HIS loss... I for one am keeping you... *grin*

MadameQueen said...

I'm sorry that happened, but really I'm just kind of ticked off that I've got that "why can't we be friends" song stuck in my head now. Thanks. Thanks a lot! ;)

Nen said...

agreed. i've had guy friends that dropped off the face of the earth after they got girlfriends... totally irritating. but hey, like you said... apparently he wasn't a very good friend! now... lets see if he comes back once he and this gf break up!

Anonymous said...

This has happened to me so many times, and I've always found out that they stop talking to me because they liked me! So once they got a gf it was like, time to move on & get over me or whatever. maybe he liked you!!! well, anyway, it will be OK. Probably better without him anyway.

Jenski said...

Blame it on the girl? 'Cuz my brother's gf asked him never to speak to a particular ex-gf again (for reals). Or don't because if you meet her and she is super sweet (not in a fake way), you might feel bad. Either way, I think your point about being exhausted by your husband is the most convincing of all! :-)

Marissa said...

Some of my best guy friends are people I've never seen naked. Hence the 'best guy friend'.

M said...

I hope this isn't a friend we discussed before. Because if so I'll stab him. Dumb shit.

Jessa said...

I think you can be friends with an ex, but it depends on what the relationship was like. I won't talk to my last ex. There's no way we could ever be friends and it has nothing to do with being attracted to each other. My husband has a ton of female friends that are ex's and it doesn't bother me. I have a few ex's that I'm friends with now, but it was after we had gone our separate ways for awhile. I don't agree with completely cutting people off just because you start dating someone new. If they at least tried to get to know the friends they'd probably realize how unnecessary it was.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

I think it might be the new girlfriend. There are some really insecure women out there who can't stand their men to be around any women. It's sad.

Sorry, hon.

Twisted Cinderella said...

That really sucks.

EE said...

Yeah, I give that relationship 2 months, MAX!

Anonymous said...

hmmmm....There's got to be a reason why. It's never fun losing a friend though.

Hey, you should enter the CabinsForYou blogger challenge. You write a piece and if you win you get $300. The info is on their blog (http://www.cabinsforyou.com/blog/events/cfy-summer-contest.htm)

As always, thanks for the great post Stephanie!

Mitch Herndon said...

Wifey says that the girl who sits by me is my "Work Wife" because I come home and tell her all of the funny stuff (and people) we talk about at work. Since they too have become friends I don't worry.

And to use an old Southern saying: "I know of which side my bread is buttered." - Yeah, picture me dressed up like a Col. Sanders.