Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Life Avoidance via Teen Mom

One of the primary "rules" of blogging is to not apologize when you don't blog for a few days. So I'm not apologizing, okay? No one take this as an apology because it's totally not.

I'm not dead. My heart is just elsewhere right now. Thus, something that doesn't mean a whole lot in my day-to-day life follows. Enjoy.

Do you guys watch this Teen Mom show? Because it's starting to really grind my gears SO BAD. Not bad enough to stop watching it, apparently. But still. SO. BAD.

So this girl, Amber? Just beats the crap out of her boyfriend Gary. Observe:

Now, I don't know this person in real life, but clearly? Girlfriend has some issues that need to be addressed. I say that both without being judgey about her situation and also without any knowledge of a "good" reason to haul off and beat the crap out of someone much larger than you. I'm just saying.

Do I think Amber is wrong for hitting her boyfriend Gary? Yes I do. I really, sincerely hope she gets some help. I don't think she's a bad person, I think she's just out of control with her anger. And, because of her really dramatic weight-loss, I fear she might be taking some drugs that are not of the legal variety. And there is a baby, a really beautiful baby, in that house. That does not need to see her parents fight and scream at each other. It's very sad.

But what I'm most sad about is that this is on television. That it's okay to show a woman hit a man. And I know she looks small, but when she hit him on the last episode? Dude's head bounced off the wall. She tried to kick him down the stairs. I literally cried when I saw this...I couldn't believe this was on my t.v.

And you know what?

If Gary was the one hitting Amber? It wouldn't be on t.v. He'd be in jail and everyone would be super pissed off at him.

It's not okay because she's a girl.
It's not okay because he's bigger than her.
It's not okay because he "provokes" her (and again, I fail to see anything he's ever done, even if he's a complete douche, that warrants her knocking him around the way she does).

I was watching The Maury Show the other day (I know. Shut up) and this woman found out her husband or boyfriend or baby's daddy or whatever was cheating on her and she flew out of her seat in a rage and began wailing on him before the security guard could catch her. The audience cheered. Loudly.

Now, I guarantee you that if a man found out his wife was cheating on him and jumped up and started beating the crap out of her, his ass would be hauled off to county. She'd probably bail him out (or Maury would. He's generous like that) but still. He'd go to jail.

Not that Maury is the epitome of class or anything and I think you pretty much know what you're getting into when you go on that particular program, but I still find the whole thing disturbing. It's no less domestic violence when it happens to a man.

I hope this couple gets the help they need. But make no mistake. This is happening in homes all over this country just with different players. I worry, almost obsessively, about the little girl living in the midst of this, but I know there are thousands of kids living with this, and worse. They aren't on television, but they're out there.

We need to stop acting like this isn't domestic violence because he's a man. It's not fair and it's not right and I am horrified that it's being portrayed this way.

Shame on you, MTV. For reals.


CPA Mom said...

Another reason I'm glad I don't watch TV outside of BL and the Food Network (I know they kind of cancel each other out). Moving on.

Excellent post for this month (Domestic Violence Month) - that girl needs to be locked up, pronto.

diane rene said...

I was going to ask you if you knew it was domestic violence awareness month, but someone beat me to it :) perfect post showing how it's not a woman's issue, men get beat up and pushed around as well, and I agree with you
it is still SO VERY WRONG and I hope that she gets help as well.

sara said...

I watch this show. My two girls (16 & 12) watch this show. This is domestic violence and Amber needs help. I've wondered about her weight loss also. And Gary asking her about whether she is taking her medication. It's scary. I thought perhaps that MTV was trying to say it wasn't ok with the couple of PSA's about domestic violence but they have not done enough. I do need to seriously think about whether my girls should continue to watch- although I almost feel they should. We discuss what's happening and why its wrong, what both Amber & Gary should do. I dont know if that't the right approach.

Christina Berry said...

I'm so humiliated. Gary and Amber are from the town where I lived with my hubby and son for 12 years. In fact, it's my husband's hometown, and my son would probably claim it as his as well, since he lived there until age 14.

What a terrible picture to paint of our little town.

But yes, I agree with you that simply because Gary is a man, doesn't make this any less a case of domestic violence. And I agree that MTV should be ashamed.

If we women want the stereotypes that hurt us to stop, we've got to stop condoning the ones that hurt our male counterparts.

Priscilla said...

Unbelievable!! Truly! I don't care who hits who domestic abuse is real, it's wrong, and it's illegal! It is actually illegal for a woman to hit a man let alone beat the crap out of him. With all this on tv in front of God and everyone, why isn't she getting arrested?

Something is wrong here.

Erin said...

Totallyyyy agree!!! She is out. of. control. For reals! Everytime I watch it I'm amazed that it continues to go on and also that he hasn't gotten some chick to take her down a notch. It's sad and ridiculous.

Carol said...

Yes, one more reason to avoid TV. All of those women applauding and thinking this is a good thing? What if it was their son someone was constantly beating and berating? Things like this hurt my heart. Let him protect himself once, and like you said, he will go to jail.

Paige said...

I dont think she needs to be locked up--she needs to be taught a different way, and given other outlets for dealing with whatever is setting her off. Dollars to donuts, she had this behavior modeled for her and does not see any other way to do things.

Teach her and break the cycle.

And I totally agree---if it was him beating her, no way it would be on TV

Amy J. said...

I did see yesterday where they have been investigated after so many people reported her. Unfortunately, they can't use the tapings of the show as evidence because the date can be altered. Child Protective Services were also called but would not comment because of privacy.

Anonymous said...

I watch the show. IT is like crack to me. I can't get enough of the ignorance. Amber is truly an ignorant young woman and it frightens me that she has a child and yes she should be locked up. But noone has said anything to commend Gary here so I will.

Gary is a dumb shit pot stirer. However he was raised right. He was taught not to hit a girl even if she hits him first. How he controlled himself is beyond me. My hat is off to him.

I grew up being taught that a boy/man should never hit a girl/woman. The flip side of that coin that my dad always told me was "Debra if you ball up your fist and hit a man like you are a man, don't come crying to me if he beats the shit out of you, you deserve it!" I totally agree with that if you hit you deserve to be hit back.