Friday, April 27, 2012

But you don't know, what you don't know

I don't flounce very often, but today? I feel like flouncing.

In fact? I feel like waving my hands around and shrieking things like, "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!"

Or more accurately, I suppose, "You don't know him!"

Oh you know him though. Through me, you know. You know how he's hilarious, honestly one of the funniest people I've ever met, and sweet. How I very nearly lost him before I even got to know who he was. How he's one of the smartest, brightest, kindest souls I've ever had the privilege of meeting. That he (and this isn't just my mother's pride) is an absolutely brilliant artist. That he can easily talk with adults. That he likes sushi. That he's an excellent story-teller. How, lately, he's a creeper.
You may not know that one time on his birthday, my brother said, "I'm sorry, I'll bring your present next week" and my son said, "All we want is to get to see you." You may not know that yesterday he said to me in the deep voice he's had since he was a little, little boy that I smelled like I "took a bath in rainbows and cupcakes". You may not know that he would defend his sister every second of every hour of every day. That she is his best friend. That sometimes I envy the relationship that the pair of them have.

But I know.

Every day of his life this kid, my son, walks into a school where kids pick on him. There aren't any good reasons for someone, anyone to get picked on. But the reasons he's picked on seem especially stupid. His accent, his ears. He talks too fast. People from Tennessee are racist (what?). That he doesn't play soccer and apparently you are only cool if you play soccer.

They don't know him.

Unfortunately for them, they probably never will.

Unfortunately for him, he has to go to school with these douches.

I would never wish away the time I have with my children, but some days I do wish we could see fifteen years into the future. So this kid of mine could know that eventually it gets better. It never gets perfect. There's always going to be some idiot you work with who thinks they are the boss of you, even if they aren't the boss of you. There's always going to be some moron in your neighborhood who acts like they own the whole town. There's always going to be someone who talks smack about your book and writes really mean reviews (I'm projecting, sorry). It's never completely okay.

But it gets better. Being different is a good thing. There are people who celebrate you for what you can create with your hands and your mind. There are people who still laugh at your jokes. Who still read your blog, even though they don't comment (projecting again, sorry). There are people who are rooting for you. There are people who love you.

Today it's not better. But it will be.

Because he's my son. And I know him.


Galen Pearl said...

What a terrific post. I am a new follower and look forward to reading more.

Anonymous said...

I wish there was a way to make it better for you and your son. I hate that your son is going through this. Just wanted to let you know someone DOES care. Keep your head up son and walk proud, it Will get better.


Cecelia said...

Heart you. And yes, I am a lurker. *beams*

Little Red Hen said...

"People from Tennessee are racist"

Hello, irony!?!
Wow, people are idiots...and, obviously, it doesn't matter what state they are from, they are still idiots.

Anonymous said...

Boy Child is the most awesome young man ever!! They are just jealous because they are not like him!! Love you Boy Child!!
Aunt Pam

Andy said...

And to really know him is to love him. Proud Pop-aw!

Bethany said...

Just this week I had to have a very long conversation with E about things getting better. She gets picked on too for stupid things- she wears glasses, she's goofy and nerdy, she loves Jesus and tells people (not in a pushy convert or go to hell way just that she loves Him).

I had to tell her that it will probably get worse since she is only in 3rd grade and we all know it gets worse. But that then it will get better.

It sucks so bad that my daughter has to deal with the same bullshit i had to deal with. She is such a wonderful kids and...

I have to stop now I'm getting to worked up. Just know I feel your pain.

Karen said...

Junior High sucks eggs, totally and completely. Jr. High was such a misery for me. One kid spit on me in the hallway. The popular kids would follow me around and hiss "skank" in my ear. I don't think they even knew what that meant, because I was far from a skank. I was a awkward, tall (5'8"), geeky girl whose mother dressed her funny. It was pure living hell. But it did get better. There are always going to be the haters, the idiots who think so little of themselves that they have to put others down in order to feel good. It's sad. It hurts, and its just wrong. Bullying of any kind is a terrible thing and should be stopped. But it does get better. Which doesn't help him right now. But he's so lucky because he's got a wonderful mom and dad who love him and tell him he's wonderful on a regular basis. :)

val said...

Tell him I kind of pity people who peak in middle school.

In the end, it's pretty much the nerdy-normal people who rule the world.

A witty sense of humor only helps.

love, Val

Ms. Maggie said...

I really hate hearing this. I love your son and I've never even met him. I know he's learned resilience from you though. He will overcome this. And he'll be an amazing adult because of it.

M said...

You know what's great? I have no doubt that even NOW your boy knows that. And that is how he continues on with his big heart and smart self and perfect quirkiness. So take heart in knowing you're giving him the right tools.

Love you. And that boy. And if, in a few decades, he wants a sassy crazy girl who's younger than him Lil would be a great match. ;) (Because arranged marriages are SO normal. and I know no one has spoken for your kids or anything lol)

Anonymous said...

...and just as it will get better for him in time, it will also get better for you, as you will find less people you need to beat up for him:)

Reb said...

Remember....and remind him, that the nerds REALLY rule the world. The hunky quarterbacks and cheerleaders? Get married, get pregnant, get fat and go broke :) A guy with glasses and a brain will out last them all!