Sunday, July 29, 2012

What I did this weekend. By Stephanie, Age 36

-Helped my husband hang the French doors in my office.

-Felt pleased with myself and my ability to use a sander.

-Wrote about six chapters of a new book I'm working on.

-Read the most scathing, painful review of my first book that I've ever had the misfortune of finding.

-Cried a little. Which may or may not have been related to the review.

-Promptly deleted the six chapters of the new book I was formerly working on.

-Found the Facebook page of the wife of George, one of the guys I wrote about in my first book. The one who was married.

-Thought briefly about emailing her and telling her how very unfortunate I feel for her.

-Especially since George has gained 100lbs and lost what was left of his hair.

-And that, based on the age of her oldest daughter? He was attempting to woo me while she was pregnant.

-Decided against all that. Since she has the punishment of being married to an douche like that, I'm pretty sure her life sucks enough without me telling her all about what a penis wrinkle her spouse is.

-Assumed he's probably cheated on her.

-Got angry at all the men who cheat.

-Was thankful that, even though I am married to a flawed human being (and so is he, I assure you), I never worry about him running around on me.

-Was told, "Thanks for celebrating!" by my niece.

-Her birthday is the 31st. She'll be five.

-Had to have some pretty serious, difficult talks with my son. Fourteen is a tough age. Especially for the parents.

-Missed my car so bad.

-Thought about what a dickhead that kid that hit my car is.

-He lied to the cops.

-It didn't matter, he got a ticket anyway.

-SO TAKE THAT. Is what I thought.

-Watched Toddlers and Tiaras and felt slightly better about my parenting.

-Talked at length about Chick-fil-A with Jason.

-Thought about the War of 1812.

-No, I don't know why.

-Had a pregnancy dream during which my husband was arrested and I used the words "Baby Daddy".

-Thought about how extra cruel the pregnancy dreams are.

-Walked a lot.

-Kissed that guy I love. A lot.

-Overheard, "I don't speak no Chinese, but I do speak some Mexican".

-No, I'm not kidding.

So. How was your weekend?


Elizabeth said...

14 - wow. Yeah, I think it is the very toughest age. Speaking as a former social worker, since my kids are still little.

I bet you're right about George. Sadly.

Is there any way you can get those 6 chapters back? Don't read those sh*tty reviews! They suck! You are awesome! (I should know, I bought your book!!!)

perdido said...

I hope you can undelete those!!!

you know that old saying you can't please everybody...some people are not going to like you, your book, or your kids and that's fine because not everyone can like everyone - if you're book was such shit it wouldn't have sold period - they probably wrote a book that no one would buy or can't write one and they are just being sourpusses - you are the BOMB!

Anonymous said...

Hey, I loved your first book, too! Been waiting patiently for the second. Don't delete! Write! Write! I need a good guffaw!


mumof3boyz said...

Boys age 13-15 should be sent to live in a military facility...that was the roughest age for me as well...2 down and one to go. I am just so very glad I don't have girls. Good luck!