Overheard in Niagara Falls

- It's a bea-you-ti-full song about two people humpin'.
Owner of this absolutely terrific Italian restaurant we ate at on the night of our anniversary.

-It's 4:30, where the hell you been?
Same owner, to one of his employees. Did I mention it was our anniversary?

-I have a feeling that before this night is over, I'm gonna kick ya in ya dick!
Waitress at the same restaurant, to the bus boy.
Yep. Anniversary. Romantic!

-If you look over there, you can see Poland!
A dad, to his kid, while we were looking at the American side of the falls. No, I'm not kidding.

-This is the best time I've had since I've been out of prison!
An enthusiastic young man on the Maid of the Mist with us, immediately after I handed him my camera and asked him to take a picture of the two of us. Since I have such excellent judgement.

-Are you from America? Can you believe the prices here? I don't care what they say, America is the best country on this planet! I don't care if these bitches have free healthcare! No wonder they do! These taxes are insane!
An overly friendly (and opinionated) lady at the Canadian visitors center.

-So he kept checking out my butt, like ALL night! And I was like, "Oh foo! You don't be lookin' and you don't be touchin'!'
The manager of a fast-food restaurant we stopped at in Buffalo. Yes, the manager. Yes, the restaurant was full. Yes, she said this in front of everyone.

-I was born in Connecticut and my wife here, she was born in Tennessee. Right now we live in North Carolina.
My husband, giving entirely too much information to a border guard.