2) A lot of people don't want to change. They sometimes say they do, but that doesn't mean they do. More often they are so invested in their own victimhood or selfishness that they find that preferable to getting off their dead asses and doing something about it.
3) Did I mention you can't fix that? Because you can't.
4) Some people are just really, really lazy.
5) You also can't fix that for them.
6) It's really, really unfair that dogs don't get to live as long as people.
7) Some people should not do Karaoke.
8) This will never not be funny: