Monday, January 13, 2014

Put the tea on.

*Scene: Last week, dinner. I made cornbread.*

Me, to family: This cornbread reminds me of Teen Mom.

Family: *ignores me and continues to eat cornbread*

Me, to family: Actually, Teen Mom 2.

Family: *mostly ignores me and continues to eat cornbread. One family member warily looks up from his plate, which I take as a complete green light to continue my story*

Me, to family: This one time on Teen Mom 2? Remember that one that had the twins and was always saying "EM, R, EYE"? So anyway, she'd cheated on her baby's dad with some ugly trick named Robbie and then she decided she wanted him back. Well, she wanted him back right then anyway, she ended up not wanting him shortly after that. But whatever. Anyway, this one time it was like his birthday or their anniversary or some crap and she made him a cake. And he was eating and all crying and whatever and he looked at the cake and said, "I don't want no cornbread."

Family: *ignores me and continues to eat cornbread*

Me, to family: Isn't that hilarious?

Family: *ignores me and continues to eat cornbread*

Me, to family: I bet that was dry cake, right? I mean, you know.

Son, quietly: You make good cornbread mom.

Me: Thanks.


After a few minutes.

Me: I guess I should just stop telling stories at the table.

Family: *silent*

Me: Fine. Bitches.





No one appreciates the fantastic anecdotes I share. It's sad, really. 

1 comment:

rainydayinmay.com said...

Well, it makes for a funny post, so there ya go!