So I woke up at 3am and my husband was not in bed.
This is not generally a cause for concern. On any given morning at 3am, odds are about 60/40 that he will be in the bed. He might also be downstairs eating ice cream. Or smoking in the garage. Or watching something about Aliens in the bonus room. He doesn't love and want to marry sleep like I do. It's fine.
I heard him banging around downstairs and within a few moments he was in the bed.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Getting in the bed."
Really? Wow. Good thing I went to college. I would have never been able to figure that out.
"No, I mean...never mind."
I then noticed that the television was on, but the cable box was turned off. The screen was dark, but it was illuminated a bit, and noticeable.
"What's up with the t.v.?" I asked. "Did you forget to turn off the cable?"
"What's the address?" he asked.
"Of the t.v.?"
Snoring. Blissfully unaware that he was just freaking speaking to me two seconds earlier.