So I went to Wal-Mart the other day. That's always horrible, right? I had to because my husband had to purchase a certain kind of tweezers and apparently no CVS, Rite-Aid or Walgreens in the entire city carries that kind (neither did Wal-Mart, but whatever).
Whilst he was looking at every single pair of tweezers they had in stock and/or possibly harassing a sales person about if they might have any other that he would find more suitable, I decided I would go and look at the meat case and see if I could find something for dinner. I did. Chuck roast. Because, you know, Wal-Mart. Where you can buy tweezers, beef, various motor oils, contraceptives, and tube socks all at the same time. I just bought beef though. I fail at "Wal-Marting".
We got in line and there was a lady and a man standing behind us. I noticed the lady had a purse similar to mine. That would have been the extent of what I noticed had she not started talking really, really loudly. About me.
"Look at that skinny white bitch thinking she's got a Louis Vuitton! Bitch!"
(I have a Dooney and Bourke purse, which I really love. I got it because someone gave me a gift card. I totally have no problem with people having a nice purse if they can afford it. I can't afford Louis Vuitton. I don't really think my purse even resembles a Louis Vuitton except maybe the colors. It's pretty clearly says DB, but I guess that would require reading. And yes, she was definitely talking about me because I was only white person in the line. But I digress)
I looked at Jason. He looked at me. His eyes got really, really big.
"Jason, did you hear her?!"
"Yes, did you?" he looked afraid.
"I did. She called me skinny! Woo-hoo!"
I raised my hand so he would give me a high-five.
He left me hanging.