Crap I've learned lately: October 2014 Edition

1) When you give someone a compliment, unless you stop talking immediately after you say the complimentary part, you are probably a douche.

There is no reason to say, "You are a good parent...for a man."

Or, "You dress really well...for a poor person."

I mean, can you imagine?

Well, I can. Because while in barre class someone next to me said,"You have really good form...for a big girl."

No. I have really good form. Period. End.

I didn't say back to her, "Your boobs are okay...for someone really skinny." I didn't even think it. Allegedly.

These are not compliments. Stop it.


2) Expectation is not reality. Expectation is something I really need to work on.


3) Most people in my life are really not interested in what I'm doing day-to-day. That's totally okay, really. When someone says "how are you?" what they want to hear is "fine". They don't want to hear about my children, my job, my marriage, Pilates class, or that metric ton of Halloween puppy chow I made the other day and haven't had a freaking bite of. They really don't.

I need to work on saying "fine".


4) Saying "That's just how I am" is sometimes not a good thing. I know it's really cool to say that we should all just be who we are, but you know who I really am? Lazy. Unorganized. I like to eat corn chips. I like to sleep late. I like to watch t.v. Sometimes I have to, you know, NOT do those things so I can do other important things like keep a job and make sure my children get to school on time and not weigh 400lbs.

Sometimes when people say, "That's just how I am" what they really mean is, "I'm not interested in changing because changing is hard". I agree that changing is hard. It's harder for some people than it is for others. I honestly believe though that if people in your life that you love and care about are unhappy with your behavior or your doctor is unhappy with your behavior or your employer is unhappy with your behavior then perhaps it's time to take a long, hard look in the mirror and see what YOU can do to make things better.

Everything is not always someone else's fault. Sometimes you have to step up and figure out your own crap.


5) My 40 before 40 list is really stressing me out. I'm starting to think I'm even more abnormal than I previously believed, because I'm really struggling to think of 40 things I want to accomplish in the next year. I think I have ten things on my list right now and two of them are very similar.

(If you've done a similar list would you mind to share some of the things you put on it? I promise I won't be a copy-cat, I'm just looking for ideas)