I think the Dr. Phil program comes on like twelve times a day. I TiVo it. The new ones and sometimes the old ones if the description looks interesting.
People either love or hate Dr. Phil. I'm kind of in the middle with him. I do like a lot of his advice though, and I think the way he treats his wife is really sweet. Plus, I stopped taping the Maury program because it was all DNA tests and "You are NOT the father!" followed by elaborate twerking and seriously after a while it seemed like I was watching the same program on a loop that went on forever. Something had to fill that void.
Yesterday I was watching an old episode (while editing a file and thinking about going to bed) and he said something that really stuck with me. I wish I could remember the exact words but it was something like,
"Sometimes you have to give away what you wish you had."
It seems so simple, right?
There are so many things that I want right now. Not one of those things is a material possession. There are so many things that I am hurting about right now. None of those things are material possessions either.
For so many years I feel like I've just kept my head down and kept moving forward. The problem with that I guess is that at some point you hit your head on a brick wall. Sometimes, moving forward becomes either impossible or something really close to impossible. I get so underwater sometimes that I feel like I can't breathe. Sometimes it's work or the realities of life with two teenagers and sometimes it's something I see or hear on the news that overwhelms me to the point that I want to scream and cry and punch the walls. I can't. Well, technically I could. But I'd need a lot of new walls if I did.
Sometimes, what isn't there becomes so much more than what is. You know? That is where I get stuck. That is where I get bogged down into the muck and mire.
So I have to give away what I wish I had. If you want a friend, you have to be a friend. If you want a positive outlook, you have to be positive. If you want a nice booty...well, I have no idea what to even say about that one, but I'm sure it's something about being positive and supportive about other peoples butts. Or something.
This is what I want to start working on. I want things to be all right in my head and my heart.