Monday, December 26, 2016

It was a different kind of year.

I almost never watch television anymore, which is sad because I really love tv and I'm certain some of you miss my exciting recaps of the Teen Mom program. I'm just really busy and have a really bad habit of falling asleep as soon as I sit down on the couch. I've been "Advanced Tired" for about nineteen years now.

I have TiVo though (an original one. I'm not even kidding, we've had it over 10 years now!) and I recently decided to record some Christmas programs because I figured at some point I'd have some time to watch them.

Christmas Eve night was that time, and after binge-watching several episodes of Judge Judy, I settled in with a movie I'd never seen, but was sure I would love. Little House: Bless all the Dear Children.

I mean, it's Little House! My favorite! I've read every single Little House book about a million times and loved the television show and adore Melissa Gilbert, even though I'm actually not sure what's going on with her face these days. I read her book and I read Alison Arngrim's book (hilarious) and used to legitimately want to BE Laura Ingalls Wilder (before I realized that holy Hell, Pa was actually crazy and being a writer is not that glamorous). What could go wrong?

Well, everything. Let's just start with everything.

I will spare you the entire story, but let me just spoil it by saying I am seriously curious about what type of drugs the writers were on when they churned this one out. Basic plot: Almanzo and Laura's daughter Rose (who is sporting the worst bowl cut I've ever seen in my life and I grew up in the in 1980's in East Tennessee so that's saying A LOT) is kidnapped by some crazy woman. Said crazy woman had a baby and the baby died and her brain broke. Which, okay, I totally get that but the vast majority of women who experience this do not go out and grab a 2 year old off a bench in front of a toy store, get on a train, take the child home to their husband (who was in another town while his wife was giving birth for some reason that is never clearly explained) and be like, "Dude, I found this kid at the hospital and they totally said I can keep her!" to which her husband is all like, "Oh fab! She's our daughter now!" I mean, was there no associated paperwork? Kids were just handed out like cheese on the sampler tray at the Hickory Farms? What is this?

So anyway, insanely long story short, somehow Laura and "Manly" (heh) pick up an orphan kid along the way, find Rose, go to the house she is very happily staying at with her kidnappers and bust up in there to rescue her. The new dad pulls a big gun on her actual parents and is all like, "Leave my daughter alone!" and they are all like, "No, she's our daughter!" and I'm over here shrieking, "Where is our friend Maury when you need him? He was alive in 1896 wasn't he?" and finally the crazy lady snaps out of the trance she's been in for this whole time and is like, "Yeah, I totes kidnapped her, but it was just because I was sad and stuff" and everyone's cool with that somehow.

THEN a bunch of other unrealistic stuff happens and at the end SURPRISE SURPRISE the crazy lady and her probably at least 1/2 crazy husband are like, "Well, we'll just take this kid instead!" and the orphan boy who is blond and gap-toothed and perfect is like, "Thanks Mom and Dad!" and I'm just...dying inside a little. THIS WOMAN JUST KIDNAPPED THEIR KID, TOOK HER ON A TRAIN, AND LIED TO HER HUSBAND. THEY ATE BISCUITS MADE BY THE CRAZY WOMAN WITHOUT FEAR OF BEING POISONED BY HER AND THEN HANDED A RANDOM KID TO HER WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT.


So really, that movie was kind of a metaphor for 2016. A bunch of really ridiculous, unbelievable scary, crazy crap has happened and now I'm just sitting 
over here shaking my head and wondering what will be next.

Bewildered. I am bewildered.

To be fair, because I try really hard to be fair sometimes, 2016 did not entirely suck. I went to Michigan and visited with my sister-cousin. During that visit I was slain by a drag queen and on the way home I was stopped by security because apparently the cheese curds I was attempting to carry home from Frankenmuth were of serious concern. Jonathan and Megan graduated from high school and have just finished their first semester of college. I haven't imploded from that yet, so that's a big plus. I've maintained my weight loss within a five pound range. I'll take it. My marriage is intact and we're pretty darn happy together. All my bills are paid. I have a job (two, actually) and my LuLaRoe business has been successful in many ways, but mostly in that I've met a ton of really funny, smart, kind, and lovely people.

All of these things are good. They don't quite make up for all the crazy/bad/scary/mean/evil things in the world, but they help.

I'm old enough and have lived enough to understand that there are a lot of awful people in the world. I just didn't realize I knew so many of them personally. It's been painful, actually painful to see so much strife and hate and...just meanness in the world.

Mean. Yes, I used the word mean. Sorry mom and dad, you did a crap job raising me because I'm a special snowflake who wants people to not be jerks. I just can't fathom why cruelty has become "okay". It's not. It's just not and it will never be.

I wish I had more hope for 2017, but honestly? At this point I don't. I will do the best I can for myself and for my family. I will continue to work as hard as I can and I will continue to treat everyone with dignity and respect. That's all I can do. I think that's all any of us can do.

I'm not accepting any biscuits from strangers, though. And if I see someone doing or saying crazy things, I'm not just going to be okay with that. 

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