Thursday, March 2, 2017

What we don't know.

A few years ago I was watching the Dr. Phil program and one of the guests of that day was a lady who said she's lost a huge amount of weight (like 165 pounds) and she was so horrified by her sagging skin that she wished she could gain the weight back.

I remember thinking, "That is so dumb. Girl, why are you so dumb?" I also remember wishing fervently that I had that particular problem.

So, hi. My name is Stephanie and I'm a big hypocrite.

Just to get this out of the way:

1) No, I'm not sure why there is a tube of gel on my bathroom floor.
2) Yes, I picked it up and now wish I had picked it up before the picture was taken.
3) I am completely aware my outfit does not match and I do not care.
4) I like my tile too. It came with the house and it's as old as the house. 
5) Yes, that's Jason's beard brush on the counter.
6) I do charge my iPhone in my bathroom. I'm 41, I do what I want.
7) I don't have a huge tumor under my arm, that's just the reflection from the medicine cabinet. Don't WebMd me, bro.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, can we talk about what losing more than 200 pounds does to your body? Can we talk about how I'd actually be able to wear a size smaller pants if I could get some of this skin off? Can we talk about how when I wave to someone it just keeps going on forever? Can we talk about the fact that when you lose weight your boobs are the first to go? 

Most of all, can I please just admit now and forevermore that I really didn't think about this a few years ago?

Would I change anything? No. I still think that lady is silly for saying she wishes she could just gain it back (and also, hello? How is not SUPER EASY for her to gain it back if that's what she wants? All I'd have to do is look at some cake and BAM. Twelve pounds).

I should just write a book about all the crap I don't know or all the crap I thought I had figured out. I think it would take me about 12 lifetimes.

(Yes, I'm also aware there is no point to this post. There doesn't always have to be a point.)


M said...

WRITE THAT FUCKING BOOK ABOUT THIS SHIT ALREADY! I only lost half of what you did and I still relate to every. fucking. word.

ALso? If we share our wiseness then others might not struggle so hard. That's what I tell myself with all my oversharing.

And I like your writing. So write the fucking book already. Crimany bitchwad.

Also? I remember feeling those same things watching similar shows. I remember thinking "at least you look good in clothes!" hearing someone bitch about how bad they look naked. Because I looked horrid both ways.

Now? I am learning to love this lumpsagwigglefest in and out of clothes. Because at least this body will be around longer than the other one would have let me. Even if the other was smoother and less like dead pudding skin I just want to skim off and throw away.

And you think your POST had no point? Sometimes my comments have no point. I'm not 41 but I do what I want to. ;) xoxoxo

Theresa said...

Holy shit. Can you give ANY MORE excuses about your damned bathroom?! ;)
Guess what? I'll take the loose skin too. And lay off your bathroom and what you do or don't do in it. Although I can guess why the "gel" is on the floor! Bwahahaha!
I didn't even notice that your outfit didn't match until you mentioned it. I had to go back up and look at it. I still think it's fine. But who am I to say? Oh. LOVE your sexy ass hips!