This I know.

One would think that after 26 years of being a mother I would have the hang of it, but honestly? 

I still need work.

 

I'm growing though. Forever growing. Forever trying. 

 

Really? These two have probably made it entirely too easy on me.

 

So many years ago, when I was a super struggling mom in East Tennessee, I dreamed of days like this. 

Graduation days.

Celebration days.

"These are the days" days.

 

Make no mistake. The struggle is still here. Different, but still here. 

I'm learning the struggles never go away and when they do? They are just replaced by other struggles.

I'm learning that it's okay.

I'm learning that we're all just learning.

I don't know much, but I know I prayed for these days.

I know that sometimes I worried days like this would never come, and here we are.

Here we are.

Not just here. Summa Cum Laude here. Master's degree here. The first one, here.

I failed a hundred thousand times with the two of them. These two beautiful babies that somehow got entrusted to a terrified twenty-two year old. I was so young and so dumb. I am still so dumb sometimes, and not quite as young. They've forgiven me a million times over, for not knowing. There was so much I didn't know. 

There is still so much I don't know.

I know this is real, though. 

This family is real. This love is real. 

The two that made me a mom and then the one we let into our secret gang. 

The loves of my life.

The four of us, we built this. Together. This messy, beautiful, imperfect life.

I am so grateful and glad, every day, that I get to be a part of it all.