1) Wondering about the signs at my work that say, "What to do if approached by an armed gunman". I never read past that admonition, frankly, so I suppose I don't actually know what to do. Except run like hell. Which would be difficult for me since I'm Large and In Charge. So basically? I'm screwed.
2) Looking at houses online which I cannot afford now nor at any conceivable point in the future.
3) Thinking about food. Oh, yeah. I know. Weight Watchers is based upon the principal that you can have whatever you want as long as you have the Points for it. There is not enough Points on the planet to appropriately encompass the amount of chips and salsa I currently want to eat. Thank you.
4) Pondering why so many people just didn't turn out.
5) Considering various ways to convince people they really want to buy multiple copies of my book. It makes a great gift! Everyone needs one! You can pull out the chapter about how I hate birds and line your bird cage so your bird can poo on it! Or whatever.
6) Looking at my kids and wondering just how I got so lucky.
7) Smelling their rank farts and wondering how fast I can get away. Which is not very (see #1 and the aforementioned Largeness and In Chargeness).