Thursday, January 28, 2010

This is my early Valentine's Day post! Lucky you guys!

I don't think a man and a woman (or a woman and a woman or a man and a man, if that's your thing) can have unconditional love for each other. I just don't.

This is an unpopular theory among many people (mostly, newlyweds). I get that. But I just don't see how it's possible. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm wrong about a lot of things, I admit. So tell me if you think I am (yeah right, like I even have to ask for that).

The way I see it is...I don't have to love anyone. I mean, my heart won't allow me not to love my children. Not only because they kick so much ass but also because something just changed me when I had them and they became far more important to me than anything on the planet. Even Diet Pepsi. And I really love Diet Pepsi. A lot.

But anyone else I love? I think it's a choice. I really do.

I think, honestly, it's even unreasonable to promise unconditional love in marriage vows. Like, I'm thinking Elizabeth Edwards today is going "You know? If you cared all that deeply about me you would have KEPT IT IN YOUR PANTS". I could be totally wrong, but I'm kind of betting she thinks that. I don't know how it's possible to have unconditional love when someone betrays you with a tranny-looking woman, has a child with her and then lies to your face about. WHILE YOU ARE DYING WITH CANCER.

Again, maybe that's just me. But I don't see it.

And you know...had he just sacked up and admitted it? I really wouldn't hate him so much. People are human and people make mistakes. But he not only did it, he lied about it. A LOT. TO EVERYONE. And that's not cool.

I also don't see how you can continue to love someone who has a drug addiction and puts your children at risk or someone who beats the crap out of you all the time. I don't see how your love for someone can overcome those things.

Honestly, I don't see how your love for someone can overcome things like leaving your pants on the floor instead of putting them in the laundry bin. But I'm jaded. I don't think love conquers all.

I think it's a choice. And I think you either make it every day or you don't.

14 comments:

Kathy said...

I think you are totally right - love is a choice. I used to tell people that I would jump in front of a bus, bullet, whatever to save my children. But, I would think twice before doing for my (now ex) husband - and maybe I wouldn't do it at all. He fully agreed with me. So yes, love is a choice.

Danielle said...

LAMO at "Tranny looking woman" but otherwise - so agree - love is a choice.

Intelligent Tool said...

Agree. My mom left my dad because he is a drug addict. A person can only take so much crap before they leave. & I am proud of my mom for doing so.

Priscilla said...

I can relate. Once the hot lusty fever of new love wears off you gotta find something that keeps you from smothering him at night.

Am I right or am I right?

Jill Himitsu said...

I agree that love is a choice. But.......sometimes you love people that you shouldn't. And sometimes? Parents don't love their children. Even mothers. Trust me, I know first hand.

(NOT ME! I love my child. My mother.)

Allie said...

I completely agree with you, love is a choice, romance will only get you so far in marriage, the rest is up to you to decide.

NinjaMom said...

We-ell. By your argument I could choose to love someone that I hate/dislike.* And I don't see that happening. I believe that spark of love thingie is random BUT relationships... Those you choose. And you either work your ass off to make it work or you boink the next person you see.

* (right? I'm bad at logic/reasoning.)

notsosmallfries said...

Totally a choice. Every moment we can choose to make a loving decision toward action that builds more trust and love or we can choose to destroy it. If I think about it too much it is sort of overwhelming because if you think of it as a choice, it makes you (universal you in use here) so much more vulnerable. Someone you choose to love could choose not to love you. The easy way is to just blame fate and say that love just disappears.

Amanda Daybyday said...

Exactly!

mythoughtsonthat said...

Only my boy gets my unconditional love- it's almost like I have no control over that. But anyone elae? Totally a choice.

Peace.

Kellie said...

Agreed. All the way.

Bethany said...

Totally a choice. Like today, I chose to love my husband instead of stick a fork in his eye.

Jenski, PhD said...

I'm with you on this for sure. I do cherish those moments that, without thinking consciously about it I get get butterflies though. :-)

Jessa said...

Love is a choice. And the ones who chose to love every day are the ones that have a lot of love to show for it in return.