Thursday, April 29, 2010

No pretty words.

I really do try to make the best of things. This is partially because I'm Southern and just really loathe to say anything bad about anyone. For example, if I know someone who is a big whore I don't say, "Bless your heart, you're just a big whore." Because, really. Is that nice? It's not. So I just say, instead, "Bless your heart, you're just a penis enthusist." That sounds a lot better, doesn't it? And that's what it's all about. Being better. Being nicer.

Part of it has nothing to do with being Southern. It just has to do with being decent. I want to make things okay, even when they are so beyond not okay that I can't even begin to fathom how to make them okay again. Somehow I feel that my want can be so strong, so powerful, that it can make everything okay.

I'm also a grown-up, and know that's not really true. I can't really make everything okay, just by the power of my wishes. Not even with hard work, sometimes.

Thus, a crossroads.

I have to decide if I'm giving up on the sequel to my book.

In some ways it makes sense. It's not like I couldn't write other things. I have lots of stories, some true and some not. There are other things for me to say.

But in other ways, it feels like giving up on something that, for a brief moment anyway, gave me a lot of joy.

I don't know what to do.

12 comments:

Sharon said...

Why dont you write about what you love? Being married to Jason. Raising your amazing kids. Being a working mom. You'll figure it out.

Danielle said...

Give it some time... you don't have to write the sequel this year or even next...

cfoxes33 said...

Bless your heart. Stop over at my blog for an award! I love reading yours everyday!

Sami said...

I heard you speak in Bowling Green, and what you said was very helpful and insightful. You said then that nobody cares, but you made me care enough to find your blog and read it. So just want you to know someone in Bowling Green cares and hears the angst in your words. Be blessed.

Dawn~a~Bon said...

((hugs)) - you know what? You can hit save on what you have, bury it in an archive folder, and decide later. You don't have to decide right this minute.

Good luck. ((hugs)) again.

Anonymous said...

Maybe give it a break for a while. I think you should write a children's book :) hilarious!

xox!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

This just may not be the time for your sequel. Write what's on your mind... or nothing at all. Nothing is set in stone that says you HAVE to write a book. Do what you want, what your heart is leading you to do. And don't stress about it.

Bethany said...

You don't have to give it up- just put it aside until it is time to write it. Maybe now just isn't the time. Maybe now is for something else.

val said...

I know that feeling--if you could just think hard enough, you could find a solution.

Sometimes the solutions are elusive though, even with those earnest intentions and desire to do right.

Sometimes right isn't even clear.

I don't know what you should do either, but I hope the answers will present themselves shortly.

Dreams...sometimes dreams bring us information we can't see when we're awake, like the subconscious is tuned in to things we can't consciously perceive. Maybe you'll have a dream that'll point the way. That'd be nice, eh? love, Val

Carol said...

Found you through see foxes,can't wait to read more, I'm a follower!

SJ said...

You might not know what to do now, but in time the answer will make itself known. Search yourself, do what your heart is telling you to do.

You'll make the right decision, I just know it.

Kellie said...

Do what feels right. Follow your heart. Your gut. Your mind.

For damn real!