Boy Child: Mom? Do you know Michelangelo?
Me: The artist or the Ninja Turtle?
Me: Never mind.
BC: But do you know him?
Me: Not personally, but yes. I know him.
BC: You know his famous statue called "David?"
BC: Do you know that he created that statue and you can TOTALLY SEE DAVID'S WING-DANG-DOODLE?
Me: Yes, I know that.
BC, thinking hard: So...that's okay? He probably didn't even have to have anyone pose, right? He could just draw it from memory since he's seen his own wing-dang-doodle. And that's okay. Isn't that okay mom?
Me: Well, sure. It's fine. The body is nothing to be ashamed of.
BC, eyes wide: Really?
Before I could say another word, he raced off to his room. He was quiet for several minutes before it dawned on me.
Me, shouting: BOY CHILD! DO NOT DRAW ANY PICTURES OF YOUR OWN PENIS.
Girl Child, poking her head slightly out of her room: I don't even want to know what's going on here.
This is my life.
Try not to be jealous.