Thursday, May 6, 2010

Bare naked and I just can't take it.

I don't have a problem with nudity.

Okay, to be fair? Sometimes I do. For example, I have no desire to see Kenny Rogers naked. I'm pretty sure that when he takes off his shirt, you totally can't even tell because he looks like he has a hair vest. I've never been close enough to confirm this, but I'm betting it's true.

But at the gym? I don't care. I don't think women should have to twist themselves into teeny-tiny little pretzels so not one inch of their bare skin shows while they are changing. It's not that big of a deal. You take off your swimsuit or your yoga pants, you put on your street clothes, you go home. Big deal.

I do not like it though, oh not even one little bit, when people walk around naked in the locker room and attempt to have conversations with you.

I also do not like, to a lesser extent, when people have long, detailed cell phone conversations with their husband or pimp or whatever while they are naked in the locker room.

And I most ESPECIALLY do not like when a certain woman at my gym walks around shrieking into her cell phone, "I don't know....Long John Silvers? I don't know...Burger King? I don't know...what do you want to eat?" while naked. And stretching. AND PROPPING HER LEG UP ON THE BENCH ON WHICH I'M SITTING SO HER LADY BUSINESS IS NEARLY IN MY FACE.

Also? If she's going to walk around so lewdly? It would behoove her to look into the miracle that is the bikini wax.

Sweet Fancy Moses.

14 comments:

cfoxes33 said...

LOL. I totally agree!

lucidkim said...

hahahahahhaha - hilarious :)

Jenski said...

I'm with you on this.

Locker rooms should have a no cell phone policy period. I am always impressed with the women who get dressed in the shower stall and don't get their clothes wet!

Ms. Marsha said...

Sweet Fancy Moses. AAAAAAHaaaaaHAAAAAAAAA!!! That is so funny, I haven't heard that one before.

I so agree with you, I am the same way. I am not going to be prudish and try to get things on without taking things off, but seriously? wandering around aimlessly? for like 20 minutes talking to people butt naked. It isn't right.

queenrandom said...

At my gym they had to make a new rule because someone decided it was appropriate to shave her bikini zone nude in the sauna in the presence of others.

I am very glad I was not there that day.

Mitch Herndon said...

Sadly, this happens in the men's locker room some times too.

So I'm TOTALLY with you.

Mitch Herndon said...

Sadly, this happens in the men's locker room some times too.

So I'm TOTALLY with you.

Nen said...

baaaahh!! GROSS!

Jill said...

1. that is so gross and 2. NEVER stop blogging, okay? I haven't touched my reader in 2 weeks and your 6 posts have made me smile and think you know, it's all okay, it really is. no matter how bad anything seems!

Catch the Kids said...

Eeuuwww!! That's just plain yuck! That would put me off the gym so completely(not that it takes much!) I agree with you. No need to be prudish, just respectful of others.

SJ said...

if you only knew how many conversations my husband and i have had about locker room etiquette.

this is so true it's not even funny!

Roxanne said...

Thank you. You just made my day!

Danielle said...

OMG - I am laughing so hard my dogs came in to see what the dealio was!! That is just all sorts of wrong!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for making me laugh this morning!