Girl Child: Mom? Wouldn't it be weird if no one had any eyebrows?
Me: Excuse me?
GC: You know. What if God gave no one any eyebrows...wouldn't that be weird?
Me: Um. Maybe not. Because if no one had any then I guess we wouldn't miss them.
GC: True. Hey mom?
GC: My teacher wants me to enter this writing contest. He said I'm the best writer in the class.
Me: Oh that's awesome Girl Child! What's the contest about?
GC: Um...I don't know. Martin Luther King, Jr. I think.
GC: Here's the paper he gave me about it.
Me, reading quickly: Um...honey? This writing contest is called Being Black in America.
GC, smiling: Okay...
Me: Sweetie, has your teacher ever SEEN you?
GC, laughing: He's my homeroom teacher mom!
Me: But honey...you're so white you're pretty much translucent.
Me: Did he hear about Justin Timberlake getting nominated for an NAACP Image Award and think to himself, "Hey! I wanna get in on that shiz!"?
GC: Mom. I don't know what you're talking about. Excuse me please.
GC exits. Enter Boy Child.
BC: Mom? What do you think God thinks about killing people when you're in a war and you're an Army guy and you have to kill somebody before they kill you?
Me, blinking rapidly: Good Lord son, what a question!
BC, completely unfazed: But you know, what do you think? Is he mad or is he cool with it because, hey. They're gonna kill you.
Me: Son. I have no idea what God thinks.
BC: Oh okay. Hey! Can you make broccoli for dinner?
BC: SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET. Hey Girl Child! Mom's making broccoli for dinner!
GC, from her room: SWEET!
Someone. Hold me.