I don't know what I was thinking when I married him.
I mean, seriously. It was like 103 degrees in the shade and the dress I got off eBay totally accentuated my back fat. Which, in case you are wondering, is pretty fracking disgusting. I don't think everyone at the wedding ceremony was fully on board with the idea of us getting married and I know for a fact that July 12th, 2003 was NOT the best day of my life. The wedding sucked. Real talk.
But it was the day I married Jason.
I would be lying if I said the last eight years were all sunshine and puppies and glitter. There have been times when I really wanted to give up. There have been times that I've been so frustrated and sad that I've wondered if it's worth it. There have been times that I have wanted to hold the pillow over his face REALLY HARD to make him stop snoring. Many times.
I'm sure he's felt the same way about me (except not about snoring. Even if I did snore, he would never be able to hear me over his own log sawing). I tend to be frantic on the best of days and I know I can't be easy to live with what with making the insane clown face all the time. A mutual friend said to my husband recently, "I'll bet you never know what she's going to come up with next" and I almost felt sorry for Jason, in that moment, that he married someone who does things like load up the back of the car with fifty boxes of food for the homeless just cause or writes a book about all the boys she kissed for an entire year. It can't be easy, especially for someone as quiet and appropriate as he tends to be.
I do laugh when people say he's my knight in shining armor, though. That I'm so lucky to have found someone who wanted to marry a woman with *GASP* two small children (and a big ass. Don't forget the unspoken "you're fat!" thing). That makes me laugh so hard it hurts.
He didn't do me any favors.
Because we're all keepers. Every one of us. I have a big ass and big hair but I have a big heart too and a big smile and a big, big amount of love. If you are my friend I will do anything in the world to help you. I make a good salary, I am fairly well educated (enough to kick butt at Jeopardy at least), I keep my checkbook well balanced, I call people a penis wrinkle on the regular AND I can bake a spectacular loaf of bread. So I had two small kids when he met me. So what? They are hilarious and fun and kind and loving and every bit as fabulous as I'd ever dreamed they would be, back when they were just dreams and not reality.
He is lucky to have us. Just as lucky as the three of us are to have him.
So today is our anniversary. It's been 8 years. If we lived in Hollywood it would be the equivalent of ONE HUNDRED YEARS. They'd call us a success that neither of us have had a high profile affair or left for irreconcilable differences.
It's not perfect. Good thing...I never wanted it to be.
It's a good life. Even when it's a hard life.
And I'm thankful for it.