Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Probably, right?

So recently? My amazingly awesome cousin and her equally amazing kid came to visit me. If I had my way they would just move in because she is pretty much the other half of me (with a Northern accent) and her kid? Oh sweet God. I remarked to Jason several times, "I no longer want a baby. I want a three year-old." Seriously. They are some of the best things to ever come out of my family, and that is a true fact.

One of my favorite things about being around my cousin is that I can totally be myself and she doesn't say things like, "Holy Crap Balls, put on a more supportive bra!" Thus, when I dragged her into my most recent Facebook stalking? Not only was she not horrified she was totally on board with me.

Some of my favorite people to stalk are Jason's ex-girlfriends. Yes, still. Even though we've been married since 2003 and he thinks I'm the best thing ever (God knows why), I'm still lame enough to look up their pictures, show them to my besties and say things like, "I'm prettier than her, right?" They always say yes, even if it's not true.

So it's really not serious, honestly. It's just clean fun via cyber-stalking. I don't think that's against the law. I hope not anyway, because if so? I am totally arrested.

Anyhoo, I showed my cousin a picture of one of Jason's ex-girlfriends and her husband, whom I refer to as "the mouth breather" and she said, "You know? Close his mouth and he looks like Jason did. When he had hair."

And SWEET FANCY MOSES ON A BIKE. He totally does. Same hair color, same eye color, same mustache and goatee combo. Dude has a full head of hair, but so did Jason at one point in his life. AND THAT POINT WAS WHEN HE DATED HER.


She's probably stalking me on Facebook RIGHT NOW.

I totally deserve it.


val said...

Oh, LOL!

Funny, funny, funny.

Steph. Oh my. love, Val

perdido said...

I love it! and it means so much to know I'm not alone!!! bahahahahaaha

Nen said...

hahaha! you crack me up.

PS--i TRY to FB stalk my hubbys ex's... but they have their profiles on private! ugh!

Beth said...

Yup, I do the same thing. It's also endlessly satisfying when the ex's new guy is less attractive than your husband.

Bexterrific said...

Bah! How did I go this long and miss this? I swear, I thought I was all caught up! YAY YAY YAY!!! I almost totally bought you a book with an APPLE on it, but I ran out of stalking time to properly order it (it's not available in stores, you know)... :)

I love you SO BAD!