Last night, at dinner.
Jason: Who is that pulling into our yard?
Jason: Oh, never mind. They are pulling on the street.
Me: In front of our house?
Jason: Yes. The neighbors are having a party. They have cars lined up everywhere out there.
Me: Can't they park in front of the house that's actually having the party?
Jason: Apparently not.
My nephew: I should go out there and pee on their door handle!
Boy Child: Me too! We should pee all around their door handle.
My nephew: We should let GINGER pee on their door handle!
Boy Child: No, that won't work. If we pick Ginger up she'd stop peeing. She doesn't lift her leg. She's a girl.
My nephew: Oh. We should pour MOUNTAIN DEW on their car! They'll think it's pee!
Boy Child: All over it!
My nephew: We should poop on their car!
Boy Child, seriously: No. We can't. Poop has DNA in it and then they could track us down and arrest us.
Me: BUT DOG POOP DOESN'T HAVE DNA IN IT! Okay, it probably does, but NO ONE HAS A RECORD OF GINGERS DNA!
Jason: For the love of Christ Stephanie, why are you encouraging this?
Girl Child: Could we PLEASE not talk about poop at dinner?