Cousins

Last night, at dinner.

Jason: Who is that pulling into our yard?

Me: What?

Jason: Oh, never mind. They are pulling on the street.

Me: In front of our house?

Jason: Yes. The neighbors are having a party. They have cars lined up everywhere out there.

Me: Can't they park in front of the house that's actually having the party?

Jason: Apparently not.

My nephew: I should go out there and pee on their door handle!

Boy Child: Me too! We should pee all around their door handle.

My nephew: We should let GINGER pee on their door handle!

Boy Child: No, that won't work. If we pick Ginger up she'd stop peeing. She doesn't lift her leg. She's a girl.

My nephew: Oh. We should pour MOUNTAIN DEW on their car! They'll think it's pee!

Boy Child: All over it!

My nephew: We should poop on their car!

Boy Child, seriously: No. We can't. Poop has DNA in it and then they could track us down and arrest us.

Me: BUT DOG POOP DOESN'T HAVE DNA IN IT! Okay, it probably does, but NO ONE HAS A RECORD OF GINGERS DNA!

Jason: For the love of Christ Stephanie, why are you encouraging this?

Girl Child: Could we PLEASE not talk about poop at dinner?



The end.