Sunday, July 17, 2016

Bingo wings

You know what I'm really tired of reading about?

How horrible loose skin is.

I'm guilty of writing about this myself. I have lamented a few times about how different my body is and how I've caught my own skin in things like seatbelts and the back of chairs. It sucks. I'm not going to lie.

You know what sucks more?

Not being able to run.

I can't run fast, but I can run now. I wasn't able to run before.

You know what else sucks more than loose skin?

Being told you are pre-diabetic and need to make some changes or you are going to be full-blown diabetic.

You know what I'm willing to have loose skin for?

Being told by my doctor that I'm not pre-diabetic anymore. That I was completely healthy. That I didn't need to worry about anything but being a little low on Vitamin D.

I got to have that day.
That was a really freaking awesome day.

I will never be able to afford to have my loose skin removed. That's okay. It's not pretty and I don't like it and no, I'll never look like a supermodel and honestly? Some time I feel a little bit miffed that I worked so damn hard to still have "problems" with my body.

That being said? Honestly, it's really not that big of a deal though. I promise.

Three different people in the last month told me they were super concerned about losing weight because of the loose skin. All of these people have a lot to lose, like I did. All of them probably wanted some sort of reassurance from me. The type of reassurance that I cannot give.

Yes, your body will change. I don't think there is any way around that. It will suck. There isn't a way around that either. It's hard. It's very mentally taxing. It's very emotionally jarring. You look in the mirror and your body isn't your body anymore. You learn to dress yourself in certain ways. You're proud but at the same time, it's weird. It's just...weird.

I would rather feel weird about my skin that have that extra 210 pounds on my body. I would rather be able to run. I would rather be able to jump. I would rather be able to lay my head down at night and not worry about my health.

I promise. I swear.

Loose skin is not the end of the world.  It really isn't. I'll still wear sleeveless dresses and two-piece bathing suits.

I'm forty. I do what I want.

I earned these mammaw arms.

1 comment:

Misty said...

Yes... I'm dealing with the lose skin and I hate it and am SO self conscious... BUT... It's by far the lesser of two evils.