Yesterday I was walking down the hall with my big boss (a man).
"Have you ever seen that movie 'I love you man'?" he asked me.
"It's great. I watched it this weekend. You'd love it."
"Really? Al was just telling me how I should watch 'Knocked up'."
"You haven't seen that? You'd love that too. It's got that Seth guy in it."
"He's my secret boyfriend," I told him. "So I really should see it."
He laughed. "Secret boyfriend?"
"Yes," I told him. "He doesn't know I'm alive. That's the secret part."
He laughed again. But he totally doesn't understand.
Boys don't get the secret boyfriend thing. If a guy said, "I have a secret girlfriend" it means they are doing her when their wife isn't looking. Secret boyfriends? Totally different.
But I didn't tell him that. I let him think Seth Rogan is the only one. I didn't mention Vincent Dinofrio or Fred Thompson (shut up) or Christopher Meloni or Chris Daughtry. I didn't want him to think I was a secret skank.