"So guess what I found out today?" I asked my family as we sat down to dinner.
Before they even had a chance to say, "What?" I said, "I found out that my BMI is not high enough to have gastric bypass surgery!"
The three of them stared at me blankly.
"I know, right?" I continued. "I was totally sure I would qualify and guess what? I don't even qualify!"
"Um, why would you even be looking at that?" my daughter asked me, perplexed.
"I saw a commercial," I said, dismissively. "But the thing is? Two years ago I would have been SO qualified. And now, I'm not! I'm just overweight now, not obese!"
No one said anything for a long moment.
"Isn't that exciting?" I asked. "I'm still fat as holy Hell, but now I'm less fat!"
And after another long moment, the silence was broken by the Boy Child who said,
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Way to be less fat mom!"
Then, he fist-bumped me.
Once again, I can't figure out if I'm the best mom ever or the worst.
Either way, I'll take it.