Monday, January 16, 2017

Lately

Lately, I am strong. It's nice.

A couple of years ago I discovered that physically I wasn't nearly as strong as I wanted to be (and emotionally? Forget about it. WIMP). I had lost about 100lbs and decided it was time. I was done screwing around. The rest was coming off, come Hell or high water (or both, I'm not picky). I decided to learn to run. Yes, I had to learn how. At the same time, I decided that I would do everything I could to avoid injury and I started taking Pilates classes.

I kind of wish I had videos of my first attempts at Pilates because I'm pretty sure they were hilarious. I tried though and I kept going and now? My core is pretty strong. I can shoot my legs straight out from a tabletop position (harder than it sounds, especially if you have a loose skin belly). I can bench press 200lbs on my legs which, according to an elderly gent at my gym, is pretty bad-ass.

I can do these things. I am strong.

I don't cringe every time my email buzzes now (although sometimes I say "GOOD GOD" if it's too many times in a row). If someone is repeating a story from a fake news site and I know it's absolutely not worth my time to try to correct them because they have their own version of truth, I just change the subject or move on to something else because I've decided, at forty-one years old, that trying to change people's minds is often not worth it. When I do speak up, I say what I mean and I mean what I say.

I'm strong.

I don't always act strong. Sometimes I cry my face off. Sometimes I'm so tired I literally can't even cry (this happened a few weeks ago...it wasn't pretty). Sometimes I still forgive things I shouldn't, sometimes I still blame myself for other people's shortcomings, and I am, continually, way too hard on myself. Every day.

Still.

I'm strong in body and I'm strong in spirit.




I would warn you not to mess with me, but you know what? It's okay if you do. I can take it.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have been surfing on-line greater than three hours today, but I never found any attention-grabbing article like yours.
It is lovely value enough for me. In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made just right
content material as you did, the net might be a lot more helpful than ever before.

Anonymous said...

These are actually impressive ideas in about blogging.
You have touched some nice things here. Any way
keep up wrinting.